Friday, July 22, 2016

Progress and Nests

I was a worry wort for nothing.  Wolfman had a great time.  Everyone came home, safe and sound.

Wolfman's also doing better with night potty training, although he regressed a bit last week with pooping in his underwear, but no accidents this week!

Warrior is still in diapers.  No progress has been made with him on that front.  I kind of just want to wait until Wolfman has it down before starting with his little brother.  But I really hope that Warrior get potty training faster than his brother.  We started in February or March with Wolfman and yeah, this week, I think, was the first week without any accidents, day or night.  A little bit of progress.  Really really hoping little bro is going to be smoother.

He's already showing interest by getting up on the toilet without help or being told to, with his diaper on, mind you.  Tried it without once and he said it was scary.

Another way that my boys are opposites from each other:

Wolfman sleeps with EVERYTHING on his bed.  Blankets, pillows, toys, clothes.  Just random stuff.  He like to build a nest, really.

Warrior likes NOTHING on his bed.  Not even a fitted sheet.  Just his blanket, maybe his quilt, and his binkie (which we are going to start weaning him off of, which is going to be a battle, since it was so easy with his brother).

I've also been thinking about involving the kids a little bit in the ritual for the First Harvest coming up on the 1st.  I dunno, yet.  Still in the works.  Obviously due to their ages, it wouldn't be something complicated.  Like maybe let them shakes the rattles as I walk the house with the sage to cleanse our home.  Let them pour the seed for the wildlife offerings, simple things like that.

Do any of you involve your younger children in ritual or spell work?

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Overwhelming Fear and the Importance of Communication

Also later, hubby plans on taking out 3-year-old to a soccer game.  I think it's a terrible idea.  Doesn't help that I had a dream where the family was out at a crowded place.  I left to go to toilet, and my hubby ran up to me, without the kids, to tell me something.  I flipped out on him, wanting to know where the kids were.

"It's fine, they're playing."

We found Wolfman, wandering towards us.  Then I saw Warrior off in the distance.  He got bored and started wandering through the crowd.  I was able to get to him before anything terrible happened.

Shitty dream, just da hell subconscious!

And my husband's done this before, at a Chuck E Cheese.  Wolfman was playing in the tubes and he left Warrior playing on another toy, and came up to me, who was saving a table.  I was already anxious and overwhelmed by the chaotic energy, then to know that he didn't have eyes on our kids, too?  Oh, I was fuming.  I freaked out and ran to see where the kids were.

My husband just isn't the brightest when it comes to safety.  He says he understands how quickly a child can go missing, but I don't think he really gets it.  In an instant, someone can snatch your child.  In an instant, they can be lost.  Gone.  Injured or dead.  According to him, I'm overprotective and allowing my illnesses to get the better of me.

Maybe I am, but he just doesn't use his brain sometimes.  I really don't want him to take our son to this crowded soccer game today.  Because I don't trust his judgement.

It's hard to have faith in your spouse when they'd rather play games on their phone than keep an eye on your kids.  Then they think it's okay to walk away from the kids in a public place, while they're playing.  He's a fuckin idiot sometimes.  He doesn't understand how quickly happiness can be taken away.  It's like he doesn't remember the miscarriage or our time in the NICU or the PICU.

Yeah, I do have anxiety, depression, and PTSD.  Yes, I can be a paranoid helicopter parent, but damn it, there are some thing you DON'T DO IN A PUBLIC, CROWDED SETTING!  He's so naive sometimes.

I'm going to drill him today before they leave--the dos and donts.  Take my anxiety medication and distract myself from my fears.  Pray that Hecate and the Ancestors are watching Wolfman, and they keep the fire lit under his oblivious father's ass, too.

But then, I'm also hoping that Wolfman craps his underwear today and can't go to the soccer game...

I have told him my concerns, and about the dream (when he got home today).  He fell silent.  He's actually taking my fears to heart and is thinking about his past mistakes with the kids.  Maybe this will be a turning point for him and us?

* Update: They've been gone for an hour and I actually haven't felt the need to take my anxiety medication.  Our talk helped me a lot.  My mind's not racing through the usual what ifs, I'm not nervous.  I'm just chill.  Waiting for them to get home.

That being said, I made sure Wolfman wore bright colors and I took pictures of him with hubby's phone before they left....just in case the terrible happens.

I'm also fighting the urge for a divination reading.  Just gotta have faith in my husband and his brother that nothing bad will happen, right?

Overall, my husband's not a bad father, he's actually really great.  Wolfman is only 3, it's a learning experience for us both.  I was raised to be cautious of Stranger Danger, getting lost, and staying near your family in crowded places.  We had passwords and were taught to avoid certain people, to never go inside someone's house unless our parents had met, and never into their vehicle unless you had permission.

My husband grew up in an area where they didn't have those problems (I'm sure they did).  Or least it wasn't something that his mom seemed to emphasize (at least it doesn't seem like it).  My dad is also paranoid and thinks the world is out to get him, yet, once upon a time, when my BFF was really young someone offered to buy her off of her father at a 4th of July celebration.  So, yeah, world's messed up.

I don't want our kids to be paranoid, but I do want them to be smart and cautious.  There's a lot of sick people in the world.  These are things that my husband needs to be aware of, too.  The only way to teach him is through positive communication.

New Name for Farts

"Lycan, did you just fart? Gotta go poop?" Me.
"No. That's awesome wind poop." Lycan.
From now on, that's what farts are called, "Awesome Wind Poops."

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

"Big Boss" is a Household Name in Our Nest

And it wasn't intentional!  The Metal Gear Solid game series is one of my favorites (definitely hubby's favorite), and apparently our boy's too!  Wasn't intentional.  The kids have seen us play other games, like Fallout series, Skyrim, and Borderlands 2, but for some reason it's MGS they love.  Seems natural to have it as our family costume theme this year.

No joke.  Our toddlers.  Love.  Big Boss.  They'll crawl around on the floor, saying they're him.  It's awesome.  That's the extent of their Big Boss play, though.  We don't allow toy guns in the house, nor will I allow gun play, not until they're teens anyway, because I don't want them thinking that guns are toys.  I grew up around guns, as a hunter and from a military family.  Us kids were taught gun safety, and weren't allowed toy guns or gun play until we were mature enough.  Same line of thinking for our kids.

We also don't allow them to watch some of the more graphic/gorey/violent scenes in the series, either.  Except that one Paz scene that we weren't prepared for.  Scared the hell out of Wolfman.  I had to keep telling him that she was okay, Big Boss was going to get her a bandaid and she'd be okay!  He was fine after that.  (Another reason to hate Paz, I guess, lol.  I really don't like her.)

This happened a bit ago:

Wolfman, looking at my computer screen, "Look at all of the Big Bosses!  One, two, three, four.  Two!  There's two Big Bosses."
After counting the pictures, I said, "There's seven.  Seven Big Bosses."
"I love counting!"
"Well, that's good.  Counting's important.  You know, for Halloween, Daddy's going to be Big Boss and you're gonna be Solid Snake, and [Warrior]'s going to be Liquid."
"No.  I want to be Big Boss."
"[Wolfman] but Solid's better than Big Boss.  He beat him twice....sorta," Hubby.
"Oh.  Daddy is going to be Big Boss!  I gonna be Solid Snake!"
"Yeah!  Now you're getting it!"  I said.
"Now you just have to learn your line.  [Warrior] almost has his down," Hubby said.  "[Warrior] say, 'Not yet, Snake!  It's not over yet!'"
"Snake!  Come here, Snake!"
"Close enough," I laughed.
"Ok, [Wolfman] say, 'Age hasn't slowed me down one bit.'"
"Age hasn't slowed me dowwwwwn oooooooonnnneeeeeee BIT!"

Then I showed Wolfan the other characters, including my favorites, Ocelot and Kaz.  He'd say "Big Boss", "Solid Snake", and "Ocelot", but adamantly refused to say "Kaz" or "Miller", which I thought was funny, because my husband doesn't like Kaz either.  I have a love/hate thing with Miller.  I love the guy, but he's really incompetent, at least where combat, security, and child soldiers are concerned (got a head for business, though).  We make fun of him all of the time, hubby calls him Kaz the Spaz (despite that you pronounce "Kaz" as "cause".)  But I love the little hot head, too.  Didn't used to like him, until I heard about Miller's Maxi Buns.

Concerning Wolfman's apparent dislike of saying his name, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

We counted Venom Snake next, and Wolfman kept telling me that there were TWO BIG BOSSES!  Weeelllllll, he's definitely not wrong!  Although if you count his clones....lots of Big Bosses.

Long story short, we have our Halloween theme: Metal Gear Solid.  Hubby's going as older Big Boss, Wolfman, being of dark hair, is going as Solid Snake, and Warrior, our blonde, is going as Liquid Snake.  But me?  Eh, haven't made up my mind yet.

"Big Momma" EVA would make more sense, since she carried Solid and Liquid.  But then there's The Boss.....come on!  She's one of the best characters--if not, THE best--in the series!  Shame, we don't have a third boy, could make them a young Ocelot, then I really could be The Boss, since she's his momma.

I'll probably go with EVA though, even though I don't like her.  Crazy bitch.  Definitely too modest for Quiet,*and definitely ain't got the body for her!). Although I do like Meryl and Raging Raven.....probably be too much going into those costumes.  Although Naomi Hunter probably wouldn't be too expensive, and I like her way more than EVA. What would I need?  A white lab coat, black stockings, black skirt, and a button up shirt.

Older EVA's costume doesn't seem too difficult to put together, either....  Older EVA or Naomi, definitely have to find myself a happy modest middle there with their outfits.

Definitely not a shortage of women in the series....lots to pick from!

If all else fails, I'll go as Little Red Werewolf again....  But I kinda hope we can pull it together, it would be awesome, especially since we don't know how much longer Warrior's going to be a blonde!