October. I love and hate it.
Love it for the weather and the transitions. Plus this month holds my favorite sabbat and my handfasting anniversary. I love Halloween and trick or trick, and the costumes. October holds a lot of good memories.
But it's also a time of the harvest and of death. Of Spirit Work. Ancestral Work. Memorial Work. It's also the month that I miscarried my eldest son, Nathan.
Normally, this month is quite the emotional roller coaster for me. But...since I've been doing the Capture Your Grief Project...it hasn't been so dark. In the beginning of the month, I was very drained and moody. Part excited, part dreading. Waiting for this month to end, as I usually do.
But...this project is really helping me to heal. I don't feel the usual emotional sorrow that afflicts me. I feel lighter and happier. I'm looking back at my journey seeing the bad, but also seeing the good. I'm seeing the progress that I've made since 2011. Where I was....who I was. Who I am now. It's something to be very proud of.
I believe that's why Nathan entered my life. To help me heal from everything that's held me back. To realize my potential and chase my dreams, to turn them into reality.