Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Grief and Heart Work Projects

Went out and took advantage of a yarn sell this weekend. I bought a thing of soft, bulky brown Bernat (<-sp?), a purple for my mom's throw, and a fall green and brown for another throw that I want to make for myself.  Although I wish I had red, too....

Even though I already have....throw, pot holder, cookie monster bag, octopus, barn bag...I think that's it....6 projects going already, I started on a Miscarriage Memorial Animal for one of my friends.  It was supposed to be a teddy bear, but the shape of the ears alone changed it to a cat.  That's fine, she likes cats!  I'm going to crochet and sew an awareness ribbon around its neck.  I may make another for her living son, as well.  And make it more durable, just in case he gets a hold of it, but I want to make them a pair.

Since I'm not using any patterns or tutorials, I'm definitely learning from my mistakes with this bear-cat!  Good thing I'm making another right after, to apply what I'm learning, like when you're working with such small bits, to sew on the eyes and nose before you seam it up (not closed up, I left the ends open before I put the eyes and nose on)!  Oh, and make sure the button eyes are sew on in a way that it doesn't make the face look pissed off.  This cat looks so mad, lol.  I thought about sewing in a smile, but then I had closed up the head already, so, next time, I guess!

I also bought some fabric so I can learn how to make divination pouches from fabric--quicker projects.  And sewing practice, I needs it.  That's one of the reasons why I chose to have a lot of sewing going on with the bear-cat.  That and sewing looks better than a yarn seam, it just disappears into the fluff of this particular yarn. 

Plus, I want to start making rag dolls and animals from cloth and t-shirts for Memorial pieces.  I'd like to start a business of Memorial things for Grief Work and Heart Work.  To spread this healing into the world.  Some things I'll sell and others I'll do for charity. 

I was going to make arms and legs, but I may just make a tail to save on yarn for the bear.  Oh man, she used an elephant theme--I think--for her son.  Too bad I didn't see any gray Bernat yarn...maybe I'll go back this weekend and look again (after I double check, because I know that another friend has elephants for her son, too).  I also want red for my throw too....and I need a better variety of buttons for eyes and noses, too.

I'm going to be finishing this cat today, starting on the bear, and hopefully getting another block on my mom's throw down, too. Oh, this is the hot mess that is my mom's throw so far:

I started making it in my early months of learning crochet and I didn't know crap about the different types of yarns and how they might affect the width and length of your projects.  It's tapered and I'm wiser now!  I mom oughta like it....she better anyway.  If nothing else, she can or I can turn it into a pillow or pillow case....  But I've been working on this project for over a year, I am finishing it before the winter holidays for her gift!

I hope yall are doing well!

(also posted on Book of Hearth and Home)

Moth's Medicine

This evening, I had quite the spiritual experience!  After months of feeling disconnected from my Spirit Animals, I found a new one, or rather they found me, as it often goes with guides.  As posted to Facebook Group Circle of Wolves: Familiars, Spirit Guides, and Animal Totems:

I'm currently going through quite the profound spiritual transition right now, and have noticed that my bond with some of my guides isn't as strong as it used to be. Guides will change throughout your life, especially if they've taught you all that they can. But that's not saying that you might not feel a little disconnected. Which is what I've been feeling lately. Kind of lost without my almost constant companions around me.

This evening, as I went outside to check on the position of Sister Moon, I turned to see a huge black spiky caterpillar climbing up the brick wall of my apartment. I've never seen one that large, in person, before, and it was gorgeous! I took photos of it, and it posed, as insects, bugs, and other crawlies typically do for me. Went inside and looked it up, and learned that it's a Giant Leopard Moth, and it will be beautiful one day!

As I was looking at photos of this beauty, I felt a deep, calming connection. Powerful, friendly, and gentle. I do believe that Moth is my new Guide. Moth has made contact before, but it wasn't as strong, so I shrug them off as just a Messenger.  I still took their message to heart, but I didn't think, Oh, new guide!  But I'm looking forward to our journey together.
The picture that I felt this connection with is in this article, just scroll on down until you see Giant Leopard Moth.

"An issue that has been bothering you is being healed behind the scenes. The solution is ingenious, creative and a happy surprise for you." - Spirit Animal Totems

Some of Moth's possible spiritual messages are (but that quote above seems pretty damn accurate for me right now):
- Awareness
- Care Giver
- Clarity
- Determination
- Faith
- Let Go of that which hinders you
- Love
- Messenger
- Moon - Lunar Energies
- Mystery
- Optimistic - Find the light of a dark situation (I certainly have been with my Grief Work)
- Psychic
- Silence
- Spirit World
- Stealth
- Transformation
- Trust the Journey

Other Resources:

(also posted on Book of Mirrors)

Sunday, October 23, 2016

New Plan

Turns out, us trying to get two Metal Gear Solid costumes together for the boys (let alone four), was just too expensive, so we nixed that idea.  Using whatever's laying about the house, I threw together a Cleric costume for D&D last night.  I plan on wearing it for Trick or Treat and the Samhain party, too.  What's hubby going to wear?  No idea.  He usually half-asses something.

So tossing the MGS idea, we asked Wolfman what he wanted to be for Halloween.  He said, "Blaze!"  So Blaze from the Monster Machines he is.  And now he has matching tennis shoes to go with his costume.  As for Warrior, we chose Chase from Paw Patrol, since he likes that show.

In other news, Wolfman is doing well with potty training.  He did have an accident a couple of days ago, after months of none.  You'll have that.  We haven't started training Warrior yet, despite that hubby keeps saying, "This weekend, we're gonna start.  This weekend."  I'd rather wait until the winter holidays, that way, hubby will be home for a week.  Or wait until his 3rd birthday, like we did with his brother.  Either way, I am and am not looking forward to it.  I, like many others, hate those early frustrating stages of potty training.  So stressful, but necessary.

Thank you, Cathy for your comment on the last blog.  I agree.  Resilience has been a major lesson and theme for me these last couple of years.  I was always told to Persevere by my Guides.  Perseverance has been replaced with Re silence.  I am Resilient.  :-)

(Sadly, I'm still not able to reply to comments on my blog.  Darn those inexplicable technical difficulties!)

Friday, October 21, 2016

Real Healing

October.  I love and hate it.

Love it for the weather and the transitions.  Plus this month holds my favorite sabbat and my handfasting anniversary.  I love Halloween and trick or trick, and the costumes.  October holds a lot of good memories.

But it's also a time of the harvest and of death.  Of Spirit Work.  Ancestral Work.  Memorial Work.  It's also the month that I miscarried my eldest son, Nathan.

Normally, this month is quite the emotional roller coaster for me.  But...since I've been doing the Capture Your Grief Project...it hasn't been so dark.  In the beginning of the month, I was very drained and moody.  Part excited, part dreading.  Waiting for this month to end, as I usually do.

But...this project is really helping me to heal.  I don't feel the usual emotional sorrow that afflicts me.  I feel lighter and happier.  I'm looking back at my journey seeing the bad, but also seeing the good.  I'm seeing the progress that I've made since 2011.  Where I was....who I was.  Who I am now.  It's something to be very proud of.

I believe that's why Nathan entered my life.  To help me heal from everything that's held me back.  To realize my potential and chase my dreams, to turn them into reality.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Wave of Light

Image from Facebook Page Pregnancy After Loss Support

Now matter where you are in the world, at 7 pm light a candle for your loved ones, be them your child or anothers.  <3

Monday, October 10, 2016

Trick or Treat Limits

Should there be age limits for Trick or Treating?  Hell, no.  It's supposed to be fun.  Allow me to share with you my story and the reason why I don't impose age limits.  Trick or Treat bullying:

Shoot, as long as you're in a costume, no matter how simple, I give ya candy. When I was about 8, I had a lady refuse me because she said that I was too old. I was a (nearly) 6'0 tall 8-year-old (I also hit puberty at 9, for those who're saying bread/breasts = too old), who went away from that woman's house crying, ashamed, and embarrassed. I don't judge. I don't care about your age or height. You dress up, you get candy. Simple. It's supposed to be fun.

We're not all cut from the same cloth.  We don't all develop at the same rate.  My kids are already tall for their ages!  Someone refuses my children, you damn skippy I'm going to say something to them.  Stop being a bully.  It's just candy.  It's suppose to be fun.  No need to be a bitch about it and police who gets what due to looking too old.  You don't know their story.  Stop judging, especially children.

You know what, honestly, costumes aren't even important.  As long as you're having fun, just hold out your hand!  There's worse things a person could be doing than Trick or Treating!

Friday, October 7, 2016

Capture Your Grief

If you're interested, the my part in the Capture Your Grief project is up in the In Memory page.  Updated daily, until the November.