Friday, February 28, 2014

Grandma's Excuses

While reading this article, The "My First Child" Parenting Style Ruined My Playdates (a pretty good one, I think), and it got me remembering something that happened several weeks ago.  We were at my mom's with our son and his cousin, Holli.  She's two and going through those terrible times, however, she's also picked up bullying from another cousin, therefore she's a bit of a bully.  Her mother does try to curb this behavior; teaching her that it's wrong to be mean to other kids and why one should share, and all that.  Her daughter is defiant--a lot like her dad--but mommy is stubborn and determined, even though she's often undermined.

But my mom....oh, dear.  That grandparent syndrome where they seem to forget how to parent, that thing pops up.  Whenever Holli was deliberately mean to Lycan--smacking, hitting, snatching toys, and so on--my mom would make excuses for her.  The most popular being, "She doesn't know what she's doing",  "She doesn't understand", and "She didn't do it on purpose".

It was an accident.  Apparently we were watching two different scenes, because I didn't see an accident.  I saw Holli get mad and deliberately hit my son in the head with plastic drumstick, and then laugh about it when he started crying.  I don't know what the hell she saw, but Holli's mom saw the same scene as me.

By the Gods, mom.  She got upset with Holli's mom when she disciplined her!  How is a child supposed to know wrong from right if someone keeps making excuses for them?  Holli's mom was right in disciplining her and letting her know she did something wrong and why it was bad.  Grandma making excuses is counter productive.  And personally I don't like seeing my baby being bullied, nor do I want him to pick up those behaviors!  And I really don't like it when Grandma pretty much allows bad behavior to go on between the kids!

My mom can be so naive at times.  To her, when a neutered male dog starts humping, they don't know what they're doing.  She doesn't understand what instinct is, and she refuses to listen to reason.  To scientific proof.  To her, it's all nonsense.  And apparently that same logic is applied to children.  Who cares about teaching them right from wrong, because they're too young to understand it right now anyway!  Just let them be kids!  Everything's an accident!  Parents need to stop being so mean to their kids!

Hey, Grams, how about you stop making excuses for them?  You didn't with your own kids, why are you doing it with your grandkids?  And stop criticizing the parents for how they parent, yeah?  It's like training pets, you need to be consistent in order for them to understand.  There were times when it didn't seem like Lycan was ever going to understand to leave the DVDs and CDs alone, but he did eventually.  Yeah, he still touches and prods and ignores us sometimes, but he's testing his boundaries!  It's not a hopeless situation, even though it may feel like it sometimes (especially lately concerning the trash can, the laptop power cord, the laptop itself, or the PS3 power button), eventually, with patience and consistency, he'll learn the boundaries and he'll leave them alone.

The journey of a parent isn't easy, especially when others undermine your parenting.  ESPECIALLY when they're family.  Not to mention, one of them is your own mom, who raised you in  kind of a strict fashion.  Like listen, it'd be great if all kids were polite and kind to each other; hell, it'd be nice if adults were like that....but they're not.  That's not how the world works; I don't think you'll be doing your child any favors by shielding them from those types of kids.  Eventually, they're going to come in contact with them, be it at school, at the park, or later on in life as an adult.  For me, it's important to raise my child to be aware of these sorts of kids and people, and to know how to deal with them.  I'm not planning on raising doormats--hopefully I will raise capable, confident adults.

Right now, it's frustrating running into those types of parents and kids.  My son loves other kids.  Loves them.  We took him to the park the other day and he just wanted to play with them; but given their age group, they ran away from the baby; but they were having fun.  They weren't being mean.  They were older, running, climbing, and so on.  Kids will be kids.  As a parent, I think it's important to remember how you were as a kid.  Eventually, Lycan focused on doing his own thing and he had fun, too.  However, there two two boys who really minded their mom.  They avoided Lycan, they didn't yell or get remotely close to Lycan unless it was by accident.  Whereas the others kids were amped up and mom's voice was kind of lost....until she started to raise it.

Then he met the baby from the other day, who was a bit of a bully.  Lycan didn't like that kid that much, and actually avoided him a lot of the time.  In that case, the mom was trying to be more disciplinary, but her boyfriend was undermining her.  And she didn't seem to really know how to handle the interactions between her son and mine, whereas when Lycan showed his inexperience of sharing, I was more hands on.  But by the time her son smacked mine in the face with a toy, she had been worn down by her boyfriend, she didn't try to teach her son that what he did was wrong.

I know that I keep saying that I don't want my kid around a bully or a child who's been excused of their actions, but it's going to happen.  I don't want my son to pick up those behaviors, but he still might; and I'll be there to teach him why it's wrong.  I won't be making excuses for my son's behavior.  It won't happen over night, I know that, but working with him is a start to raising a capable and confident child....I hope.

It's a learning experience, for sure.  For me, in getting a glimpse of how others have parented/ing, of how they react when they've essentially been bullied, in how their children react, and how my own kid acts.  There's so many different styles out there, from the annoying excuse maker to the tiger mom.   It's about finding your place among them, which I don't think happens with a snap of the fingers.

When faced with adversity, it's important to remember your goals.  Who do you want to (try to) raise?  Keep it in mind, but don't be afraid to explore and try new methods when it seems like nothing's working.  Most importantly, don't allow others to make your feel inadequate as a parent.  Don't let em pressure you to do things or allow things to happen to your kids.  If you're not comfortable with the crowd your toddler is in, take em out of that situation.  If you don't like how someone is talking to you, tell them off and/or remove yourself and/or child from the situation.

I know Holli's mom is frustrated with the grandparents, I sure am.  It's frustrating, but it drives me more to fight certain behaviors, and to instill others, while still letting my kid be a kid.  He's not a wild animal, he has a brain, he's smart, he can be taught.  Nothing worth doing is easy, right?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

New Stuff

So today I learned that you can have a UTI and not have any pain.  Great, just great.  My doctor prescribed some medication for me, although I may just want to drink cranberry juice instead.

In other news, the baby's heartbeat is just fine; like his brother, he kicked the crap out of the heart monitoring device.

I took the sugar test, gross.  I'm ready for it this time!

They had a lactation specialist actually come in and talk to me with pictures and support and sheer awesomeness.  I love this hospital, screw Mount Caramel.

And we had arrived at the hospital at the same time that my friend did.  They started the inducement process while I was in my appointment.  Afterwards, we stopped by to see them, and stuff.  It was cool.  We left when they broke her water.  It's been a waiting game.  Took me 18 hours from water breakage to birth, so I hope it doesn't take as long with her.  We're all eager to see little Darius!

Monday, February 24, 2014

The Challenge

Well, Lycan, in all of his elated glory, was screaming at my belly a bit ago and Squirmy heard him.  Needless to say, with tons of kicks, I think Squirms accepted that challenge.  Oh, these kids are going to be a handful, aren't they?

26 Weeks!

Tomorrow I'm going to be 26 weeks!  Nearly finished with the second trimester!  Whew, right now I'm nauseous, feels like there's a lump in my throat.  Ugh, I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks for a couple of weeks, bloating, exhaustion, continuous nausea, a couple bouts of heartburn (mostly in the past two days), had two bad headaches today, and discomfort.

I mentioned my heartburn on Facebook, and boy did the "I know better than yous" come out.  Lots of Heartburn doesn't always equal lots of hair!  But trying telling other people that who're stuck on Old Wives Tales!  I didn't have a whole lot of heartburn with Lycan, and he was a furry kid when he was born!  Head and body.  The FB hens just cluck, "Well, you just don't remember."  Thanks, didn't realize you were sharing my body....  On the other side, my SIL, with all three of her kids, she had god awful heartburn, and none of them were born with hair!  In fact, it took them awhile to grow it!  But no, to the Clucking Hens, we're wrong and they're right.  Talk about annoying.  Apparently experience means nothing to hearsay and what happened to other people, or to the "majority".  One would think it's a losing battle except I'm stubborn....and hate generalizations.........

I know that Lycan was pretty active in the womb, but Squirmy takes the cake.  I've been feeling Squirmy since week 17.  I don't remember Lycan giving me this much discomfort.  Just feels like Squirms is trying to break out.  Like he's saying, "There ain't enough room in here for all of us!"  Aka him to my organs.  Ugh.  And he's only going to get bigger and more active and stronger!  Hope this ain't gonna be a Chest Burster thing....

Last night, we went to a friend's house, where a mutual friend brought their son, who's 4 months younger than Lycan, but nearly his size.  Lycan's a little taller, but Grayson was larger--not fat, just bigger.  Normally Lycan loves other kids, but he didn't quite know what to make of this other baby.  Didn't help that the other baby was a bit of a bully, and Lycan wanted nothing to do with that!  And neither did I, to be honest; I don't want my kid to pick up those bad habits.  Bullying aside, they were cute together.  Grayson was the first baby Lycan has been around that's close to his age.  Normally the kids are either way young or are toddlers and older.

Lycan's a eater, and has no problem with taking food out of Grayson's mouth or hands, or bum food from other's plate.  Swear, sometimes he acts like we starve him!  Growing baby boy!  It was kind of funny, with lots of "Lycan!  Look what mommy has!"

I got a lesson in baby corralling last night.  Whew!  It was rough!  Hopefully it won't be as bad when Squirmy is up and walking--hopefully I won't be pregnant!  I gotta hope it's a tad easier when you're not carrying around a kicking, stretching head of lettuce!

In other news, another friend is being induced on Wednesday!  Very exciting.  I have a prenatal appointment on the same day, around the same time, at the same hospital, so we're going to visit her afterwards, depending on how she's feeling.  Looking forward to seeing Darius.

Lycan's calling my name, and my dyslexia is being a total bitch, so I'm going to bow out, and hopefully have some awesome baby news in a few days.  Not too mention, there's an uncomfortable tickle in my throat that's creeping up towards my mouth.  Blah.  This kid is starting to dance a jig on my bladder!

Saturday, February 22, 2014

No Sprinkles Needed

I was just thinking of the stuff we won't need to buy for Squirmy, because we already have it!

Need:

  • Bassinet
  • Converter Crib
  • Diapers
  • Formula
  • Stroller for Two (we'll see)
  • Clothes (regardless of gender; although with a boy, we won't have to go all out)
  • Bedding Set (I do want it to be different than the sports one that I didn't want in the first place)
  • Diaper Bag (perhaps)


Have:

  • Shampoo
  • Lotions (barely used them)
  • Powders
  • Towels
  • Rags
  • Car Seat
  • CS Winter Cover
  • Toys
  • Blankets
  • Sheets
  • Wipes
  • Infant Tub
  • Bottles
  • Spoons
  • Cups
  • Pack n Play
  • Swing
  • Bouncer
  • High Chair
  • Booster Chair
  • Play Mat
  • Boppy Pillow
  • Jumper thingy
  • etc

Of course, with a new baby coming, we'll also need things for Lycan, like potty training stuffs, larger clothes, and the like.  I wonder if I'll be able to get WIC again?  I hope that.  It was a HUGE help!  While we still had it with Lycan, we used the coupons to stock up on formula and baby food jars for Squirmy.  

Even with the crib, we won't need that right away, because Squirmy will be using the bassinet for about 3 months, roughly.  We switched Lycan to his crib around that time--he was sleeping throughout the night, for the most part.  I mean, I was working nights when we moved him, according to daddy, that's what went down.  Although I remember coming home a few mornings and finding them both asleep in our bed.  That didn't last long, however.  

Handling wise, with Lycan, like most new parents, I was afraid that I was going to break him.  Now, I know how to handle newborns, hopefully, I won't be as timid about kangarooing with Squirmy!  I was super cautious with Lycan!  But I'm a bit of a veteran now.  


All right, enough musings, food time.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

In Spiritual News...

Lycan and I both saw an orb today; our heads snapped around to look at it, it was kind of funny.  It was a bright ball of light in a dark place--no chance of reflection, passing vehicle, or sun glare.  It was there and gone in a flash.

My son sees, plays with, and talks to the Spirits in our home all the time.  It's nice to know that they're so friendly--makes me wonder if some of them are Ancestors.  As long as they're nice to him and us, I have no problem with it.  I have ground rules in place, I go over said rules and perform cleansing every so often, so they know what's going on.  I don't tolerate negativity or Fear Feeders at all.

I can't wait until he's talking more so we can ask who he's talking to.  Who knows?  Maybe it's an Ancestor I knew?  Or one of the guides and guardians in our lives?  Be interesting and something that I'll definitely encourage.  When I was younger, up until high school, I didn't have try to see/hear Spirits.  But my ability lessened when I went to college.  Slowly it became harder and harder to see and hear them.  Now they only appear to me when they want to be seen/heard.  Which is fine.  As a Hedgewitch, I still work with them, even if I can't always see, hear, or feel them. I still talk to them, give offerings, and such.

Concerning my kids, I will encourage this ability and hopefully it won't dissipate as they get older.

Differences in Parenting

Here's a post on being a "mean mom":


I don't know about you, but I get so tired of the unsolicited advice and evil eyes, mainly from family.  Some people don't tell their children "no" and sometimes it does work.  However we're all different.  Some kids need a firmer hand (and I'm not talking about spanking).  Some kids don't respond to negativity, nor do they respond to be spoiled.  Parenting's really a journey in trial and error.  Do your thing.

I can't stand those people who have the nerve to tell you that you're wrong.  One of my BIL's never said no to his son.  He was disrespectful.  He didn't care about boundaries because he wasn't taught them.  Then they ran into problems.  With kid number two, they taught her boundaries, and realize that they made a mistake with not doing the same with their son.  At least they're working to fix their mistake.  But he used to tell me that I was wrong for telling his son "no" in my home when he got into stuff or bothered my pets.  They never said anything and I didn't want their child to mess with my stuff or upset my animals!  How your kid behaves in your home is whatever; but you gotta teach em to respect others and their homes!

A couple of people in my family have said that I was wrong for teaching my son boundaries.  "He's too young to understand it" and "you're damaging his self esteem."

Almost 14 months old and he understands "no".  Does he always listen?  No, but he's testing his boundaries; that's what kids do.  I never thought that he would get it, but with consistency, he understood.  Most of the time he avoids or stops when we tell him "no".  If he doesn't, into the crib he goes.

And guess what else?  He's a happy, laughing, smiling child.  He doesn't fear us.

They say, "It's going to effect him when he gets older."

I just laugh.  Like, do none of these people remember how they were brought up?  Now, both of my sides of the family come from broken, abusive homes, so that might not be the best example.  But many of them have raised great adults, who're raising their own kids, using different methods.  They were told "no"; some of them were spanked.  They're fine.

And I really hate the "OMG, THAT'S SO ABUSIVE!  SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL THE POLICE/CHILD SERVICES ON YOU!"  That over reaction right there tells me that most of those people don't know what abuse is.  Real abuse.  Telling your child "no" (or some of the things mentioned in the article) is not abuse.  Fluffy nonsense.

I come from a broken, abusive home, too--due to my dad.  However, when he wasn't being a total asshole, he did instill in us a level of respect for your elders, stranger danger, and other important things.  When I moved in with my mom, she wasn't emotionally or physically abusive.  She yelled, screamed, and said "no".  She took things away from us, she grounded us.  Made us do chores as punishment and outside of punishment.  She also instilled a lot of good things in us kids, too...like doing things ourselves--how to be independent.  My step brother's dad was one of those "I want to be your friend" type parents.  Whereas my mom is "I'm your parent; it's my way or the highway".  He's always told me that he respected her more because she actually tried to raise him, whereas he had his dad wrapped around his pinkie finger.

I wasn't afraid of my mom, I respected her.  However, with my dad, I was afraid and I hate(d) him. In the case of my step dad, I don't respect him either as a parent (as I grew up, he was pretty divided, "you raise yours, I'll raise mine" sort of mentality).

With my own family now, my children will never know the environment that I knew concerning my dad.  Because of my dad I'm a damaged adult and it's not because he told me "no"; it's because he beat me--because he damaged me psychologically. However I will still teach them things that he taught us--on his good days.  And I'll raised my kids like my mom raised us...for the most part.  I've learned from their mistakes.  My kids will know respect, for others and themselves.  If they don't, they'll hear our disappointment.

A lot of parents who scold others on how they should raise their kids don't seem to realize that many of their parents/guardians told them "no" and yet they turned out fine!

You know, unless a child is actually being physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused, don't tell others how to raise their kids.  If a kid is in that environment, actually try to do something about it instead of just gossiping.  Many family members knew what my brother and I were going through, but they chose to keep it on the down low (because that's how they were raised, which to me isn't an excuse).  I had to help myself to change my situation; but that's a different story.  Bottom line is if it's not your child, shut up.  Give advice when it's wanted, not when you think it's needed (unless there's actually danger).

What works for some, doesn't work for others.

When my kids are older and they can hold a conversation an understand, you know, I want to try that talking it out thing, but I'm also going to tell them "no", and send them to their rooms.  That's not abuse, nor is it neglect.  I know what abuse is, and that's not it.

Just try to be the best parent you can be.  If something doesn't work, don't be afraid to try other methods.  If people don't like your methods, tell em off or ignore them.  Ain't their family, is it?

Are Vivid Nightmares Normal While Pregnant?

Ugh, because I am so over them!

Our roof recently sprung a leak in...well, all rooms with windows (both bedrooms and living room).  Such water damage is also around one of our ceiling light fixtures.  I want to turn off the breaker to that room, but the bathroom is also connected to our room.  (Yes, I'm documenting the damage, we've called the landlord and the emergency maintenance.  And we're not using any of the light fixtures in the room [any of the electronics near the water damage].)

Zombies have been replaced with electrical fires.  I've only had two today (which is already too many), in one I can't get to Lycan and die trying.  In the second one, I do, but we're both badly burned.

I'm so over this.  Zombies are one thing, but fires are quite the other--they're definitely more likely.  Yes, our detectors are working.  But we've had to move our bed into the living room, and Lycan's room and door is right by ours.  I'm really praying that this isn't some stupid precog dream thing.  I hope I'm just worrying and fearing for nothing.

By the freaking Gods, this sucks.

Is this normal?  To have dreams of not being able to save one child while pregnant with another?  Stupid subconscious.  Part of me is worried that I'll end of favoring one over the other, but then another part of me knows that it's stupid, and probably a normal thought for a parent to have.  Sometimes when I look at Lycan, I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love him.  Then I feel totally guilty about it.  On the other side, I see scenarios of the opposite, of me neglecting Lycan for his brother.  I feel even more guilty about it.

Ugh, completely over this.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Just For Poops and Giggles

I took this quiz from Scary Mommy: How Many Kids Should You Have?

My result made me laugh, "Three is your magic number. Four if you count the drink you'll need in your hand".  Which is funny, because I didn't get my girl this time.  Perhaps third times a charm...in a few years?  Let the husband get the some of those Y's out of there.

Hubby and I were talking about that.  I'm willing to try for one more.  He wants two more because he doesn't want middle child syndrome.  I said, "We'll see".  Although maybe the tech was wrong and that 20% turns into 100%?

Some Lycan news for today:

He walked up to me, handed me a ball, and said, "Play." I took it and gave it toss. He looked at it back, then at me, all offended. 
"What? You said 'play'!"
He got it, brought it back to me. I tossed it again. He looked back, looked at me, grabbed it, and walked off.

A little later, I said, "Why don't you go play in your room?"
He shook his head.
Laughing, I asked, "Did you just shake your head 'no' at me?" 
He gave me a big ole adorable grin.

And instead of him saying "Shit" properly, I'm teaching him "Poop". Today was spent saying "Play", "Pup", "Butt", and "Poop".

Sitting on the bed, playing Skyrim, when Lycan crawls up with a diaper in his mouth. His soiled diaper, off his butt. Before I can grab it, he throws it on the floor. Glad nothing spilled out!

I love this kid.  Yeah, there are times when he can be a handful and frustrating, but there are so many more golden moments.  Lovin this parent thing.

Monday, February 17, 2014

It a...80% Chance of Penis!

October 3, 2013

Like Lycan, Squirmy was a challenge when it came to seeing their face and equipment.  Stubborn and bashful.  But they're healthy.  We got to see them with the hiccups, a wave, nomming on the feets, a frontal and side view of the mouth open (like pictured below).

As for gender, the tech is 80% sure Squirm's a boy.  Gotta admit, I'm bummed, just means we'll be triyng for a girl...in a few years....  But I'll love the little guy no matter what.  Hopefully, in a month, we'll get conformation.  Or maybe it'll be a certain near June 4th?  At least we won't have to buy too many boy clothes now.


Saturday, February 15, 2014

Apparently...

So apparently, when you have a kid, some of your friends take that as a sign that you don't want to hang out anymore.  They don't bother asking.  They just assume.  But when you invite them, they're busy,  too tired, or they cancel at the last minute.  WTF man???

I guess it makes me glad that one of my other friends is due with her kid this month, that way I'll have someone to hang out with--someone who fucking gets it, especially when my Best Friend ditches me and doesn't even bother to send me an invitation.

Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean that I don't want to or can't get out of the frickin house from time to time, and away from my family.  Bullshit.  Should I really be surprised though?  Things have been different with her since I got married.  But it's not even a marriage thing, because two of our other friends got married and she has no problems hanging with that them!

And her b-day is tomorrow.  Thanks for including your "Best Friend" for the celebration.



Throughout the week, I'm pretty much bound to my house.  But on the weekends, hubby's off, I want to do something.  To get outside.  I'm tired of all this damn snow and cold.  I want to take my kid to the park, have cook outs and picnics with my friends, go hiking, camping, go fishing, go to the lake, play badminton, take photos, get the hell out of the house for a change--do free activities.  I'm so tired of being inside.  Yeah, there are rec centers around, but I'm a nature gal.  If I'm going to be active, I want to be outside.

I want to share the world with my kid(s), too.

Anyone else feelin it?  Feelin trapped by the snow and the cold?  If we had the money, I'd totally take my aunt up on her offer and visit with her in Florida...and I hate Florida.  Better than Ohio right now.  Shoot, I'd even take spending time with family in West Virginia right now.


In other news, I went to the bathroom this morning to pee, then woke up and realized that I was peeing the bed.  Awesome.  I though only kids and drunk people did that?  Luckily, I woke up in time and still had plenty more to give to the porcelain gods.

What a frustrating morning.  At least I got to sleep in though.

Oh, and yesterday, while I was plunging the kitchen sink, I had covered my face with my shirt and....threw up into my shirt.  Pregnancy's so much fun!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Ravenous

I have a ravenous beast in my womb.  I've already eaten a cheese omelet of four eggs, a fried bologna sandwich, two pickle spears, two big glasses of water, and now I'm eating a bowl of cereal.  If this doesn't satiate the beast, I may have to devour my bag of carrots, which I was saving for stew tomorrow.

Squirmy kicks and demands, "FEED ME HOST!  FEED ME NOW!!"  And I just have to obey.


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Perfect Timing

While watching a duet dance number in Singing in the Rain, I commented, "So, dancing...it's just foreplay, yeah?"

Lycan, without missing a beat, "Say what?"

I lost it.  It was so funny.

Why Did I Wait So Long to Try This?

For the late few days I've been making Treasury or Discovery Bowls for my son.  I don't know why I waited so long to do this.  I learned about this simple activity months ago while looking for things for him to explore and learn.  Pretty much, it's a bowl filled with baby safe objects and toys to explore.  The bowls can have a theme, like bath time, the sea, kitchen, magnets, textures, colors, lids, animals, shapes, balls, their favorites, food, vehicles; whatever you can come up with.    Most of the ones that I've seen on Pinterest have rice--colored, plain, and scented--and kitchen utensils.  

Or it can just be random!  Although, he seems to like this activity, so I may create themes for him.  Especially if I'm in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, I can just hand him a bowl of objects.


I put the bowls in plain sight and not.  It been giving him something to discover and it's better than him getting into trouble with the PS3, CDs, or DVDs.  Tonight, he brought me two CD's and instead of just taking him from him, I took as opportunity to teach him about circles and colors, like in his books.  I've read those Baby Einstein books to him so many times, that I know them by heart now!  lol.  He brings them to me all the time.  He has his favorites, he has the ones that mommy read better than daddy, and vice versa.  It's pretty funny.  We need more books.  Even he's getting bored with some of them!

This is a circle, remember, "a circle's a round shapes' name!"

This is blue, "Violet's camera is colored blue.  Violet's name is a color, too!"

Which is great, because it recalls memory and I can see the gears in his head ticking.  He really enjoys learning and I enjoy teaching him.  Lycan really takes it in.  It's a great feeling.  He points and tries the words, flips the disc over to see the other color.  Hands them to me, so I can repeat it.  It's wonderful.  I love teaching him.  

I taught him some numbers, too.  Showed him how two circles can become one, and vice versa.  He spent some time putting them together to make one and sliding them apart for two.  I love the little guy.  It definitely inspires me to explore and make more sensory activities.  I mean, my Sensory Bottles were a hit with him.  He likes some more than others (doesn't really care for the glitter bottles or the floating pompoms, but likes the noisy ones).

By the way, in our house, Discs are now called Circles.  :-)

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Riverside Hospital

First appointment, and so far I'm impressed.  They were very thorough and extremely helpful.  And I didn't have to go to a different part of the hospital to get my blood drawn.  So far, Riverside gets a thumbs up from me.

Feb. 17 @ 3 pm ~ Ultrasound

Feb. 26 @ 1:45 pm ~ Doctor's appointment

Monday, hopefully if Squirmy co-operates, we'll know if they're a Vincent or a Rylee.  Then on the 26th, we'll have blood, pap, heart beat, etc.  Typical prenatal appointment.  Gettin it goin.  

I'm just tossing it back and forth, whether or not I want to announce my pregnancy on Facebook now or wait until Monday (the important people already know, despite that I found out that my step mom blabbed to my dad's side, which annoys the piss out of me, but what's done is done). Last time, I just waited until we had our first ultrasound, where Lycan looked like he was a Yautja (alien hunter from Predator).  Because I'm so far along, I'll have a level two ultrasound, a typical ultrasound.  Maybe I'll just wait, that way I can properly introduce them?

Monday, February 10, 2014

Soon Squirmy Will Be Revealed

Got my doctor's appointment tomorrow.  8am.  Aside from paper work, I don't know what it'll entail.  I don't even remember my first prenatal visit.  I know peeing and bloodwork was part of it...and paper work.  But peeing...that's a way of life when you're pregnant.  You'd think that I'd be a pro at peeing into cups by now.  I either miss it, or overflow it.  No in between with me.

I don't know that I had a physical.  I don't think that came until the second appointment.  I had a physical and a rough ultrasound.  I know that they'll want to get in and see what's going on, I sure do.  I want to know exactly how far I along am I, what the gender, and that everything's okay!  I'm roughly 23-24 weeks and Squirmy is a kicker and a mover.  More so than my son was.

I want to stop calling the fetus "it", "little wren", "the baby", and "squirmy".  I already got my names picked out:

Boy: Vincent Lucien
Girl: Rylee Mindy

Baby stuff aside, I am going to be in need of a Mommy Spa Day after this second kid is born.  I was just looking at my hair.  Yall.  Yall, it's awful.  Dull.  Split ends.  It hasn't been dyed since....maybe the beginning of 2011?  And I haven't been able to dye it because in the fall of 2011, I was pregnant.  Then April of 2012, I got pregnant with my son.  Got preggo with #2 around the fall of 2013.  I'm determined to dye my hair sometimes this year after this baby is born.  It needs it.  My grays, guys, my grays.  They're overtaking my head.  And I'm not all that ashamed, because on my dad's side, the women go gray early.  Both my aunts were sporting full heads of gray since I've known em.  Gray is beautiful, too.  

But I still want to dye my hair.  My natural color is ash brown, it's an awful color.  When I saw that some hair dying company was selling the color of Ash Brown, I about puked.  You do not want to pay for that color.  

I just need a Mommy Spa Day: a wash (cuz hair stylists do it best), a dye job, a cut, styling, a waxing; maybe get my nails did.  Nothing too fancy because I still gotta go home and take care of two babies, but you know what I mean.  Maybe a massage instead of the nails...let's be practical here.

But until then, I'll deal.  Focus on Lycan and Squirmy; myself will come later.

New Momma Reading

From the Mama Blog:

The Problem with "Keeping the Peace"

Pagan Families posted this article about teaching children the different faiths that exists within many families:


The tag line reads as, "Can children grasp that people can hold wildly different beliefs, and that this is good? I absolutely believe they can, and here's how I taught my children".

Many adults don't give kids the credit that they deserve when it comes to understanding differences and things that some would consider "abnormal".  Children are intelligent in their own ways.  Try explaining homosexuality or gay marriage to a child, and they'll get it better than most adults.  Most of the time, they don't see anything wrong with it, or care....depending on how they've been taught or have observed.  

Same thing with different belief systems.  They'll get it easily, and tend to be accepting.  It's how they're taught that causes that negativity; and it's not always by adults, sometimes it's by other kids or teens.  The peer pressure, the taunting, the bullying.  However, who you were as a child changes as time passes.  

Most children have no problems with interfaith, however many adults do.  

Personally, I'm glad that I found a Pagan man.  The only "interfaith" we have is a difference in our individual brands of Paganism.  I don't know that I could be with a Christian, an Agnostic, or even an Atheist.  Belief can go from 0 to 60 in milliseconds; starting calm, then getting quite violent, as each party believes that their way is the right way.

Often I've read about Pagans who're involved in interfaith relationships.  Most of the time, they're fine, until children come into the picture.  Some can make it work, but others can't.  I've seen many a Pagan and Witch withdraw from teaching their children about their faith to keep the peace.  I think that's weak bullshit.  That's not compromise, sharing, respect, or love, that's giving up; giving in.  For a prideful woman like me, that wouldn't fly.  Course, we also talked things out when things started getting serious.  How will be raise our kids?  What about beliefs?  These are important question to ask each other BEFORE children come into the picture.  

Can you be with someone who sees your beliefs as foolish and make believe?  I can't.  I don't care how much I like them, if you can't accept all of me, I'll find someone who can.  There's plenty of fish in the sea.  No one's stopping me from sharing my beliefs with my children.  That's the bottom line.  I have every right to share them with my kids.

My husband is a Slacker Pagan, he's not as spiritual as I am, yet he still wants to instill the Nine Noble Virtues; I have no problem with that.  Cool.  The other day, I was showing Lycan how mommy stirs the pot--it's was kitchen witchery--and my husband joked, making fun of my family, "You teachin my son that devil craft?"  "You know it!"  

I know that most of the family that really matters--the ones who're going to be involved in our son's life the most--they don't care about our faith.  As long as we're respectful of each other, you know, it is what it is.  It's just another form of faith.  I'll share mine with my kids, you share yours with yours.  I'm fine with introducing my kids to their religion and spirituality, as long as boundaries are respected.  Don't force your beliefs on them.  Don't undermine mine.  Vice versa.  Simple.  

But...there are those who don't share that level of maturity.  I wish, in this case, it was the typical "SAVE YOUR SOUL" issue, but it's not.  The most crap I get is from my Agnostic mother.  And it's not even because she's Agnostic.  It's because she's shallow.  She cares more about how others will see her, than about the feelings of her own family.  

I love my mom, I really do, but she is something else.  I thought my pride was bad!  To her, Paganism is Harry Potter mumbo jumbo.  It's make believe.  Hell, she even had the audacity to disrespect the High Priestess at our handfasting 3 years ago!  If she was a Pastor, a Preacher, a Rabbi, or even a Father, my mom would never disrespected them.  But because it was a High Priestess of a Pagan faith, it was "okay" because it's not legit.  It's not real.

I've tried to talk to my mom about what I believe, and she ignores me.  Before--to keep the peace--I let her.  Why cause a wedge when we get along outside of belief systems?  

However, now, I have a child.  And she's already shown disrespect to how I'm raising him.  We celebrate sabbats, the seasons, our ancestors, and nature; and to her, that's foolish.  What will people think?  

She doesn't seem to understand that I don't give shit what people think.  This has been my faith since I was 8-years-old.  To me, she's the one who looks foolish.  To her, I'm punishing my child(ren) by forcing them into a world abnormality.  I'm dooming them to be bullied.  To her, no one will ever take them seriously.  They've never get into a good school, have friends, or have great career.  Because they'll be weird like their loser mother.

Nah, that's not what happening at all.  Yes, there will be times when they face adversity, but we're going to raise them to be strong, smart, and to know how to deal with bullies, be them other kids or adults.  Luckily, mommy knows from experience.

My faith didn't cause my present, my choices did.  If anything, my faith is helping me in learning from those mistakes.  I'm only nearly 30, I still have time to right my life and become a responsible adult.  I'm a responsible wife and mother.  That's proof enough to myself that I can get everything else on track.  

As I've learned with the Gender Biased fiasco, this isn't something I can just sweep under the rug to keep the peace.  This issue needs to be talked about before it becomes a problem.  It may still become problem in the future, but at least she can't say that I didn't try.  We'll cross that bridge when/if it comes. 

 I tried talking to her about the Gender Bias thing and she didn't listen.  It blew up when I made a general statement to all of our families on Facebook.  I'm trying to avoid that problem again.  I will not be silenced due to someone's pride.  I will not be bullied into someone else's beleifs.  I'm going to raise my children the way I want, and it'd be nice to not be undermined with them around.  How can I teach my children strength, if I bend to someone else's will?  I will not compromise.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Mommy Has a Werewolf and a Vampire Apparently

I'm starting to think that fetus are little vampires.  They suck out all of mommy's energy so they can move and squirm and kick the crap out of you.  There is a correlation between how much they move and how tired mommy is.  I'm convinced.  Where's the study on that?  Let's study something useful for a change, scientists.

You're Pregnant, You're Supposed to be Rational!

Said no sane person ever.

I really don't understand some of the people in my family....especially the one's who've given birth.  It's like they don't remember what it was like being pregnant and how much crazier that makes a woman.  I know that pregnancy affects us different, not all go bat-shizz crazy, but I certainly do!  I'm an Aries, which means I'm hella worse than usual, especially when I'm mad.  Hormones make me even more irrational than usual.

To some of my family, especially my mom, the moment I show anger or frustration, I'm being selfish and ungrateful.  I'm whining and being a bitch a bitch's sake.  That may be so, but damn it, give me some leeway!  I'm pregnant!  I'm hormonal!  I'm crazy!  I laugh, cry, rage, and am apathetic all within five minutes or less!  I can't control it, but I apologize for acting in a certain way.  AFTERwards.  

Like last night, I tossed a spoon at my husband, hit him in the face on accident, and I started crying, then a minute later, I was fine, sitting in the bathroom just clipping my nails.  WTF?  Hormones are strange creatures...yes, a chemical is a beast right now.  Majority of the symptoms during pregnancy don't even remotely make sense.  I don't see how having my mood swings go crazy is helping to grow my fetus.  If anything, it's just driving people away.  How is that helpful for anyone?

But no, my mom's not even allowing me to do that--get my mood swing on, chill out, then apologize--at the moment.  I'm can't explain my actions, the reasoning, or even give an apology.  Did I mention that she's also menopausal?  Which also turns a woman bat shizz crazy, and she's an Aries too.  This has not been a fun pregnancy, guys.

I just don't understand why no one, who knows I'm pregnant, isn't cutting me some slack.  I'm not completely incapable of controlling myself, but there are times when you just blow up or burst into tears.  I don't understand how more pregnant women don't murder people in the heat of passion.  You'd think there'd be a lot of that happening.  But instead, some of us only succeed in offending and driving people away.  Some of those weaklings are expecting us to keep acting like our old selves.  To act a certain way.  What do you want me to be all fluffy, flowery, and mothering?  Trust me, I'd like to be.  Gotta be better than the broken wheel of emotions.  It's frustrating!

If I go off, do not take that personally.  Certainly, don't retort in a way that makes you look foolish while you're trying to berate me (true story, happened about a week ago).  Let me calm down, reflect on the stupid crap I said, then apologize for acting so bitchy.  Don't fight back.  My husband has learned this the hard way.  Fighting back only makes it worse.

I don't know if my mom's not cutting me any slack because she's a shallow person (cares more how others see her than her own children's feelings) or if she's just menopausal.  Either way, this shizz sucks.  Stupid drama made worse by hormones.

A Dark Dream

Oh, man, I had a dark dream last night that I gotta share to get it out of my head.  First off, let me say that I really really hate the pregnancy dreams that I've been having.  They're all dark, terrifying, and having something to do with zombies.

The Walking Dead is coming back on on Sunday, and I'm excited....not as excited as I was for Teen Wolf, but excited.  I used to really love The Walking Dead and then I had a kid, and now i just don't enjoy that series or the zombie genre as much, period.  I should probably also mention that I have an irrational fear of zombies.  I had plans before it was cool and trendy, let's put it that way.  Before I was seen as crazy, but now it's cool and now I'm seen as a I'm a bandwagon zombie prepper...although I'm too broke and lazy to get as into it as most preppers.

Getting off track.

Sucky freaking dream.  In it, my husband had turned and bit me.  My son and I got away to a safe location.  We were alone...but I was infected.  I was faced with an awful decision....turn and eat my baby boy alive or kill us both.

WHAT THE FUCK DREAMSCAPE?!?!?!?!

I woke up in tears.  The glorified fuck?  It was awful!  It upsets me just thinking about it, just remembering it!  I feel betrayed by my subconscious, like, yall don't understand.  That is some fucked up dreaming right there.

Maybe it's the wave of horrid fucking nightmares that's been keeping me awake as of late?  Like, right now, I'm awake, exhausted, and it's 4:38 am.  I want to go to sleep, but I can't fall asleep.

Ugh, the joys of pregnancy, huh?

Have any of you ever had horrible, vivid, realistic dreams while you were pregnant?

Preggo Plans

My cousin gave birth to her daughter, Ava Grace, some odd hours ago, via C-Section.  A beautiful little bundle of 5 lbs 7 oz!  Congrats to her and her family!

Got me thinking about my little squirmy bundle.  I'm going to be at a different hospital, which has better reviews from my preggo friends, one who has insurance and one who doesn't (I will have insurance this time!).  I already know what to expect for the most part.  I see things as going more pleasant this time around, and if it doesn't, I know my rights.  I will say something if I'm mistreated, like I wish I would've done when I was at Mount Caramel.

I know what to expect with the GD, because most likely I'm going to have it again.

And I'm going to be honest with them if they treat me badly because of it, like Mount Caramel.  My child was actually underweight due to me not eating enough--I was always hungry.  It was terrible.  When I told the doctors, I was ignored.  I still think that in my case GD is a load of bullshit.  I think it's fearmongering bullshit, so the pharmaceutical companies can pump you for more money.  When I eat "bad" food, I literally don't feel any different!  I think I can decide for myself if something's too sweet or is going to make me feel like shit.  I don't need some fucking statistic to do it for me.

When I get there, knowing how tough my forearm skin is from the last time, I'm just going to save the nurses the trouble and have them put my IV in my hand.  I'm not looking forward to the catheters or having two monitors shoved into my uterus.  That was awful.  I can tell the docs about the problems I encountered last time, like my uterus not clamping down and all that jazz.

I can only hope that this one goes naturally, without induction, like their brother did.

I keep wondering how much different labor and delivery is going to be this time.

I know that I'm going to go as natural as I can, I mean I endured hours of gall bladder inflammation pain, I think I can do natural.  And trust me, gall bladder disease rivals child birth!  I survived that, I think I can survive natural childbirth.  But if I can't, I'll get the epidural.  But it'd be nice to know where I'm pushing, instead of hours later when the second epidural wears off.  Am I right?

One of my friends is due in 2 weeks.  :-D

~)O(~

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Toddler Shows and Bullying

I'm a Nick kid.  Grew up watching Nickelodeon, still watch it as an adult, so naturally, my kid's are going to be brought up on it as well.  These shows though, man.  What are they teaching kids?  Most of these shows has a bully.  Dora has Swiper the Kleptomaniac.  Peter has the Badger, Owl, and the Fox who're out to eat him and his friends.  Team Omi Zumi has the Trouble Makers and some squid kid.

These shows are teaching our kids that no matter how mean your bully is, now matter how many times they've tricked you, stolen from you, and have tried to kill/eat you, you should still be nice to them and do them favors.

What?  No!  Kindness can only go so far.  And I get that you don't want to stoop to their level, but how about you actually teach them how to handle and avoid a bully?  Or just take that element out of the equation: helping the bully.  Bully's bully and you solve the problem and rise above it, not befriend them only to have them betray you again, like freaking Swiper.

That's not a good thing to teach a child!   Help those who you betray you, are mean to you, and steal from you?  No.  Are parents actually watching these cartoons?  And it's not just on Nick Jr., other cartoons are just as bad.  I don't know how much more of this dribble I can take....I really wish we had PBS.  I can only hope the shows are better, especially concerning bullies.

Nah, good thing I'm not relying on television to teach my children the facts of life.  By the Gods.  I just don't see how that's going to prepare them for socializing with other kids.  It's fluffy nonsense.  Be nice to your bullies, who'll continue to bully you.  No ones learning anything, except the bully, they're learning to not change: their methods are working.

~)O(~

Best Friends, Separated by a Wire Cage



It's times like this that I wish we had a pet that Lycan could be more interactive with.  Marsden's friendly enough when he's in his cage or being held, but out on the floor, he's rambunctious, a biter, a climber, and those clinging claws are bad news for flesh!

Lycan loves animals.  All animals are "Cat" to him.  One of his favorite stuffed animals is a black cat that I got him for Yule: Tat the Cat.He gets so tickled when he sees them, and knows to be gentle.  When I take Marsden out of his cage for Lycan to pet, my son's eyes light up and he actually gets a little shy, and no interaction makes this kid shy!  Lycan loves kids, and will walk right up to them, wanting to play.  Sees an animals and he's cautious, which is smart.  I don't want to raise my children thinking that it's okay to wander up to any animal, wild or domestic.  Animal smarts, yall, important to teach your children!

I was just talking to my husband adopting a dog, when #2 is one or two.  He said, "Well, what about a puppy?"

My reasons for not wanting a puppy:
  • Kids are too young to help care for it
  • I don't want the kids toys, socks, clothes, blankets, or binkies to get chewed up
  • I don't want them to find poop or pee puddles before I do
  • i don't want to deal with diapers, potty training, AND door training all at the same time!
  • Puppies are too much work
  • An adopted dog is already trained, has shots, and we'll hopefully find one that's good with kids

"True."

I know, I've thought about this.  When they're old enough to help care for a puppy and can be encouraged to clean up after themselves, THEN we can get a puppy.  It'll be a rite of passage like when we were kids.  I started with a g...whatever pig, a dwarf rabbit, had an explosion of hamsters, then we had kittens, and THEN a puppy!

That being said I've had many a pet (compared to hubby who's only had dogs):
  • Cockapoo
  • Beagles
  • English Mastiff
  • Doberman Mix
  • Dwarf Rabbit
  • Flop Earred (who didn't flop) Rabbit
  • Hamsters
  • Gen....whatever Pig (i can never spell it!)
  • Rats
  • Ferret
  • Beta Fish
  • Gold Fish
  • Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches
  • Siamese Cats
  • Russian Blue
  • Main Coon
  • Persian Cats

I've always wanted a bird, but hubby's allergic to domestic bird feathers....or so he claims.  One day I hope to have room for a goat or two, chickens, and a couple heads of cattle....but more for milk, cheese, eggs, and meat, less for companionship.  

Enough about me, I'm pretty open to just about any kind of pet, as long as the kids can prove that they're responsible and can handle them.  No problems there.  But right now, being as young as they are...we'll think about adopting an adult dog when #2 is on their way out of diapers!

~)O(~

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Bassinets

For this next baby, I want to get a bassinet.  Crib, too, of course, but for those first couple of months, I think a bassinet would be wise.  For my son, we used a double-leveled pack'n'play, with a napper that could flip into a diaper changer.  It was useful, yes, but bulky.  Especially since we moved it from the bedroom to the living room often.

However, the napper leaned to one side and I think that's why his head is flat on one side.

Don't get me wrong, the pack'n'play was very useful and we still use it from time to time, but gotta think compact.  We still live in an apartment and have already done drastic changes to make room for our son, like opening up the living room and tossing out the couch, among other baby proofing steps.  A bassinet is more compact and lighter, depending on what type you get.  Some can fold up, others have wheels.

I think I want wheels....standing, and stable.  Just because a store sells it, doesn't necessarily mean it's safe.  There's was a recall on our Baby Einstein bouncer thing.  We haven't had any issues with ours, but still.

Well, I got some time and some research ahead of me.  And I need to find another converter crib that I like.  Doesn't have to match what my son has, although I like the dark wood....




Saturday, February 1, 2014

Keep Your Gender Bias To Yourself!!!!!

By the Gods!!!!  I love my mom and step dad, but jeez just let a baby play with whatever they want!  They were seriously trying to get my son to stop playing with the "girl" toys because they didn't want him to "turn gay" like my cousin did.  Apparently when my mom let him wear her high heels when he was a baby, it turned him gay.

I knew that kid was going to be gay and my mom's heels had nothing to do with it!  The kid was legit born that way.

I told them, "Even if my son turns out to be gay, I'm still going to love him no matter what."

"Yeah, but you don't want him to be gay.  It's a hard life."

Yeah, especially with people like yall!  Damn!  And I can't control that, nor do I want to.  He'll turn out however!  If he likes girls, cool; if he likes boys, cool; if he likes both, cool; if he doesn't like anyone, cool.  I don't give a shit, as long as he's happy!  I don't care!  He'll have my support and love either way!

First off, he's a fucking baby!  He doesn't care about a pink or purple toys, it's a toy, he wants to play with it!  Let him!  And who cares if he likes pink or purple????  Why can't a boy like those colors?  A girl can wear blue and play with boy toys, but a boy can't wear pink and play with girl toys?  Double standards much?  It's fine and dandy for a girl to be a lesbian or a tom boy, but it's not okay for a boy to be gay or to be "in touch with his feminine side"?

The fuck?

What are they going to do if my second child is a girl?  Segregate them?  Put him in a room with boy toys, and her in a room with girl toys?  Yell at him when he picks up a doll baby?  Call him names when if he wants to play with Barbies or dress up as a Disney Princess?

If I say anything that's going against the "norm" I'm being sensitive and emotional.  Like no, fucktard, I'm being realistic and fair.  It's sooooo frustrating.  My step dad even tried to get my husband to side with them, and it didn't work because my husband doesn't care either way.

They're kids!  Let em be!  Stop putting hatred and bias into their heads!  Keep that shit to yourself; and I will continue to be "sensitive" and "emotional" if they continue to bring that shit up.  Just stop.  He's my child, if he wants to play with "girl" toys and wear pink, I'm going to let him.  Because he's a child and he should be allowed to express himself and be a kid.

I knew I was probably going to have to deal with this, I just didn't think it'd be so soon.

5 Month Musings

10 more days until my first appointment.  Probably won't have an actual see-the-baby appointment, seeing as it'll be my first time going to Riverside, or maybe I dunno, I am roughly around 5 months, so ::shrugs::.  Hubby hasn't been approved for full time yet--people are taking their sweet ass time!--so I'm going to look into health care for me and the babes today.  Like to have something in the works before I stroll up in there.

Somethings been on my mind.  How my son will adjust to having a new baby.  He's going to be around 1 year 1/2  by the time this one is born.  Will it be easier for him or harder?  He loves other kids, but he hasn't spent a whole lot of time around them.  My nephew seemed to adjust pretty well to his little sister; she was born, then three days later he turned 2.  But he also had a baby sitter who had a kid around his age, as well as a younger sibling.

Typical uncertainties I suppose.

One of my friends from high school is about to have her baby--she's 37 weeks yesterday.  Baby's ready but her body isn't.  I guess both grandma's and her mom needed to have C-Sections, she's really hoping that she won't have to have one.

I went ahead and told her the gory details that no one told me about child birth.  The process, the delivery, and the after birth.  Gave her some tips.  And she gave me some tips about Riverside, too.  Things I'll be sure to ask about.  I'm going to try breast feeding again, despite that it didn't work last time, but I really blame Mount Caramel for that, because it seemed like that they didn't give a shit.  They barely helped me.  Said that the lacationist was going to see me, then Ooooops, sorry, she's on vacation!

Like it was a full moon, statistics show that more babies are born on full moons, you'd think they'd have more than one person on duty.  Like the anesthesiologist.  They only had one guy on duty!  Screw Mount Caramel, man!  I'm thinking it's because I didn't have health insurance and that's why I was treated poorly.

1) I'm going to be at a different hospital.  2) I'm going to have health insurance this time.  Things had better be different.  I hate being pregnant.  The only good thing about it is feeling the baby grow and squirm; well, and of course, the end result!  I hate being pregnant, but I love the outcome!  Other than that.  No, not enjoyable.

She reeeaaallly misses sex.  She's like, "It's been two months!  How long will i have to wait after?"  After you're all healed down there you can try it.  For me, I wasn't pain free until around 5-6 months; but it's different for each woman.  And we caught up!!!  Then...I got pregnant around 9-10 months.  Yeah some things were forgotten in our lusty haste.

She's due around Feb 21st, and I'm excited to actually have a close friend that I'll be able to set up play dates with and talk mom, right?

Speaking of not liking being pregnant and sex, my husband said after this I should go on birth control.  No, I've been on BC before, I didn't like it--they seriously messed me all up!  When I stopped taking the pills, I didn't have a period for 6 months!  And it was like my body was playing catch up with super heavy and super long irregular periods after that!  It took about 2 years for my body to get on a regular, normal period schedule.  I'm not putting chemicals in my body.  Condoms are fine.  "But I hate condoms."  Honey, no one likes condoms.  Condoms nor BC are 100% baby proof!  I like condoms vs putting annoying chemicals into my body.  They should make birth control pills for men.  Let's fuck with your fertile factory instead of mine, yeah?  If I don't get a girl this time, I'm trying for one more in a couple of years, and I don't want to have anymore issues than I've had.