Sunday, November 16, 2014

This Isn't the Season for Drama, It's a Time for Joy and Family

November's such a boring month for me.  I spend a lot of time during it planning for Yule, Christmas with the family, and for my son's birthday.  My husband and I don't celebrate Thanksgiving in our home, out of respect for our Native American ancestors.  But we do go to family's houses for gatherings, good food, and great memories.

This year might be a little awkward.  On one hand, the family's inviting my grandmother's close friends over and Thanksgiving going to focus on her.  Thanksgiving was always a big thing, we'd go to grandma's house and feast merrily.  This year, I'm pretty sure it's going to be at my mom's house instead of here.  It's just weird to think of that.  Even though we've been here for 2 months...give or take, sometimes it's still odd to think that I'm here, living in grandma's house.  Yet it's also comforting because she stops by once in a while.  Part of me really wishes we were having the gathering here, but I understand if some family are uncomfortable with that.

Another awkward thing is that one member is trying to start problems concerning us living here.  I think they're just misdirecting their grief and anger towards me.  They just need time.  If they're there, it's going to be awkward, but at the same time, apparently they're the one with the problem.  I plan on being there for my family and in memory of my grandmother.  I'm not going to start drama.  I'm not going to give into either.  Definitely not in front of my kids.

What the member doesn't know is that I've already spoken to my grandmother about us being here (yes, Spirit communication).  She's happy about it and she doesn't feel that we're disrespecting the house in any way.

I'm not going to be disrespected, especially by someone whom I used to be close with.  I feel betrayed, but as I said, I believe that they're dealing with grief (as we all are), as they've endured much loss and many trials this year.  I understand that they need time, but I'm not going to be their target.  I'm choosing to be happy.  I've got a lot to celebrate this year.

April 27, 2014, NICU
Premature Birth

 June 10th, 2014, PICU
Nearly died from the Rhino and Corona Virus
(They attacked his brain and lungs)

November 13th, 2014, Home
Despite his rough start, Vin is healthy and a very happy baby. 

Not too mention all of Lycan's milestones, his growing vocabulary, comprehension, emerging personality, and seeing his likes and dislikes.  I'm cherishing every bit of it, even the frustrations.  On Samhain, I got to communicate with the First, the boy that I lost in my first trimester.  That was extremely emotional and healing.  I love my boys.  They're my world.  I love my family.  Yes, I am choosing to focus on the love and on the joy that the holidays brings.  

They can fight and bicker about whatever, but I refuse to be a part of it.  It's not my fight.  I've got holidays and a birthday to plan for.  I ain't got time to get involved in some hearsay.

** Well, we worked it out, I believe so anyway.  I honestly don't know what to believe anymore.  We hashed something out anyway.

The problems lay with the siblings now.I want no part, YET  I'm acting as an adviser, trying to encourage a face-to-face talk when enough time has passed.

Anytime there's family drama in either side of the family, why do I have to be the voice of reason?  Just trying to get these people to see things from the other person's perspective.  They're basically pissed off at each other for the same thing!  They have the same damn thoughts about each other!  So I'm just trying to say give it time.  Do what you need to you, but yall ain't alone with this situation.  Yall need to work your crap out.  Silence only creates rifts.

All of these hearsay is just a distraction, to cover up their grief.  It's a distraction so they don't face the real underlying problem--the passing of their mother.  The guilt.  The regrets.  Instead of facing these things themselves, acknowledging them, it seems like they're lashing out at each other.  DISTRACTIONS!

Shit, man.  This is exhausting.

Makes me glad that I only have one sibling.  I can't handle this crap.  I got my own stuff to deal with.

Hopefully tomorrow doesn't bring more crap.  I will take a pooper scooper to it if I have to.  Tired of the drama.  You know what, I had intentions of talking about the birthday plans for Lycan's party when I started this post.  Sigh.

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