Friday, March 14, 2014

Hens Gonna Cluck

"Hens" being the name that I use for judgmental mothers, especially those who would bully, taunt, or gossip, due to their own immaturity.  They target anyone who does anything different from how they do things: from changing a diaper to disciple to names.  Ever been in or near a hen house?  It's loud and obnoxious, isn't it!  And it reeks to the high heavens, especially when the environment heats up!  Same principle. 

Clucking Hens, the more annoying females of our species. You know what?  Some men fall under this category too, because they can be just as bad.

People are full of opinions.  Some they keep to themselves, others they can't seem to keep quiet.  Some opinions are good, some bad, some eh.  Some are more opinionated than others.  

Well, no shit Witchfre, what's your point?

Let me just copy and paste my FB status:

"Over on pregnancy corner (FB page), there's a small debate going about unique names. Two of the things I got/get tired of hearing concerning my son's name are "He's never going to find a good job with that name" and "you've condemned him to a lifetime of bullying."

1) That's what's wrong with this country, judging a person's qualifications based solely on their namesake. To me, that says a lot about a company. Very shallow. Do you really want to be hired by someone like that? Looking and acting professional is one thing, but your name has to be "professional" and acceptable, too? By who's standards? What's normal? 

It's subjective!

2) How about you raise your child to not bully those with differences? If they pick it up from their peers, 
correct them, or at least try. You are their parent, you do have some power.  Your influence should be stronger than their peers.

But in the end, we're not going to get along. That's just how humans are programmed. We tend to fear that which we don't understand, and we disguise this fear in many ways. Plus, we're different, we know what we like and what we don't like. That's diversity. No, you can't change people, but you can change the world one person at a time, starting with yourself and your children. Your child might bully someone over differences, hopefully my child will be able to turn that negativity into strength. If your child hits mine, honey, you'll see him live up to his name.
"

Names.  What is it about them that makes a person's harshest judgments come spewing out?  I see it a lot on parenting or baby sites.  So much hatred, taunting, and negativity aimed towards what someone else has chosen to name their child.  I don't get it.  It literally has no effect on the the nay sayer!  None!  Yet, they feel this need to boost their ego and say something.  

Why?  It's not your life or your child.  Why do you care?  Who are you, the Child Services of Names?  No one cares that you wouldn't name your child that in a 100 years.  Good job!  Want some...some corn meal....what do hens eat, side from drama?  Why do you feel a need to display your dislike for all to see? 

They're almost as bad as the Grammar Nazis who have this overwhelming urge to correct others and show off that they know the difference between "they're, there, and their", "to, too, and two", "altar" and "alter", or "affect" and "effect".  It's like, shut the fuck up, no one cares.  Stop being an asshole.  You can keep things to yourself.  It is possible, especially online.  

Some names do need some thought, like those parents who have a last name that sounds like a cuss word or something sexual, and they name their child out of humor.  That's kind of immature, but luckily, at least in America, you can have your name legally changed.  One of my high school friends name was Chun, pronounced as "Trin"; she was named after her father (Chinese family tradition).  She hated her name.  No one could ever pronounce it right and she was girl!  In her senior year, she had her name legally changed to "Trinity".  

My best friend had twin students, one was named Egnaro and the other Ollej.....Orange Jello.  I shit you not.  I didn't believe her until she showed me her student roster. 

Some names make ya go, Huh.  

When we settled on Lycan's name, I wasn't happy with it, but I compromised.  It meant a lot to my husband.  It's for were creatures (which I love), but it's also significant, symbolizing power, transformation, and roots to your past.  Never forgetting that wild side.  I'm growing to love it.  Especially since Lycan does live up to his namesake.  I mean, he was born on a full moon, a moon I call the Wolf Moon, he was fuzzy, and he's a powerhouse.  He's definitely transforming us and has an impact on most people who see/meet him, in positive ways.

I figure, later in life, if he doesn't like his first name, he can always go by his middle name.  

It's amazing what people would learn if they asked more questions and judged less.  But sometimes, I guess that takes too much brain power to inquire.  It's easier to criticize, than to learn, or so the internet has taught me.

Many of us are going to have opinions on things, especially likes and dislikes, but that doesn't mean you have to say or type something.  Some people can be down right rude and idiotic with what they say.  Then it's made worse when other hens join the flock with their own bias, subjectivity, and knowledge of how the world works.

Like apparently they feel that if you have a different name, bullies are allowed or are obligated to target you.  

What?

And you'll NEVER find a good job or career anywhere, because the rest of the world is just as shallow as they are!  Nor should you have a good job with a silly name like "Hurricane" or "Peeta".  

Da fuck?  Is any of this base on real events or just on someone's opinion of how the world should work?

I face a lot of hens offline, from my family.  It's a generation thing.  Those outside of my generation tended to either not get it or not like it.  But those in my generation, for the most part, did.  It's not just generation, some of pop culture lovers get it, others don't.  Preferences, man.  My grandma still makes fun of his name because it's not "normal".  I just roll my eyes.  

We have high hopes for our children, based on who they are, not what their names are.  Shame that many in certain circles can't see what's really important.  But I guess it just reflects the type of person they are, or at least a facet of their personality.  

But Hens gonna cluck.  Just gotta be better than them.  Learn to rise above their flocks, stand upwind, and focus on turning your attention else where.  Preferably a quieter place.  

Ha, one of my friends asked, "WTF does his name have to do with him getting a fucking job?"


"I dunno. That's just what people have told me. I guess employers don't want to hire someone with an odd name. But at the same time, look at how culturally diverse our country is. There are many people with different names, from their culture (even if that culture is 'pop' like my son's) or religion. Some easy to pronounce, others damn near impossible, but they have great careers!"

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