Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Are Vivid Nightmares Normal While Pregnant?

Ugh, because I am so over them!

Our roof recently sprung a leak in...well, all rooms with windows (both bedrooms and living room).  Such water damage is also around one of our ceiling light fixtures.  I want to turn off the breaker to that room, but the bathroom is also connected to our room.  (Yes, I'm documenting the damage, we've called the landlord and the emergency maintenance.  And we're not using any of the light fixtures in the room [any of the electronics near the water damage].)

Zombies have been replaced with electrical fires.  I've only had two today (which is already too many), in one I can't get to Lycan and die trying.  In the second one, I do, but we're both badly burned.

I'm so over this.  Zombies are one thing, but fires are quite the other--they're definitely more likely.  Yes, our detectors are working.  But we've had to move our bed into the living room, and Lycan's room and door is right by ours.  I'm really praying that this isn't some stupid precog dream thing.  I hope I'm just worrying and fearing for nothing.

By the freaking Gods, this sucks.

Is this normal?  To have dreams of not being able to save one child while pregnant with another?  Stupid subconscious.  Part of me is worried that I'll end of favoring one over the other, but then another part of me knows that it's stupid, and probably a normal thought for a parent to have.  Sometimes when I look at Lycan, I can't imagine loving another child as much as I love him.  Then I feel totally guilty about it.  On the other side, I see scenarios of the opposite, of me neglecting Lycan for his brother.  I feel even more guilty about it.

Ugh, completely over this.

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