Sunday, January 19, 2014

I Think They Forgot...

Sometimes I really think my parents don't remember what it's like having kids.  Or maybe we just drove them to insanity, I dunno.  That's possible, after all, I'm the reason why my uncle doesn't have kids.  I was a terror, really lucked out with number 1.  Hopefully number 2 won't be a mini me.  I got a dose of mini me when I was a teen and had to baby sit my cousin.  She was a brat brat brat brat brat!  Just like I was.  She's not anymore.  Neither of us...I dunno, I still have my bratty moment.  Even at near 30.
Anyway, so yesterday, at 7 am, my step mom sent me a text reminding me about her birthday party later that evening.  Okay.  (As a note, my step mom didn't come into my life until I was 8, so she has some excuse....some.  She also doesn't have kids and doesn't know what it's like being pregnant.  Some excuse.)  Throughout the day I dealt with a whiny, fussy teething 1-year-old and all the fun perks that comes with pregnancy: mood swings, forgetfulness, exhaustion, incontinence, food cravings, etc, etc.  
I think I may have been napping around the time of her birthday party.  Point is, I forgot until this morning, when hubby said that my dad sent a text.  He wanted to know why I didn't come to her party.  It was kind of a bitchy text, too.  I can understand that.  How does a person forget a family members birthday party, after all?  
So I asked him if he forgot what it's like raising young kids.  
That's no excuse.
Oh, really?  I gave him my reasons.  
He recanted and changed his approach from bitchy to "I was just wondering if you were invited."
Okay, dad.  Whatever.  
I run into this kind of stuff with my mom, too.  Of course she's also menopausal and it's not exactly fun to combine a pregnant woman with a menopausal woman.  Lots of clashing.  Lots of hormones.  When I'm around her I'm not allowed to be hormonal, I have to be happy and grateful all the time.  I also should be keeping my son up and teaching him non-stop because kids at his age should already be talking.  He's one.  Her only example of how a kid his age should be speaking is my gifted niece.  Little girl is seriously gifted.  She was speaking in full sentences and understanding them before she was one.  That's what my son has to compete with, concerning grandma.  It's unfair, I know, but that's just how my mom can be.  
Course in my house, he'll get it when he gets it.  When he's ready, he'll talk.  He's already proven that he knows a lot of words and what they are, he just doesn't say them as often.  Instead he chooses to say "cat", "apple", "dada", "mama", "up", and so on.  We work with him, but I also want learning to be fun.  No pressure.  Plus when he's two, I want to try ABCmouse.  Kids' got some years to learn what he needs to learn.  But he also needs his naps!
Nap time is a godsend, especially at this stage, for both my son and my womb.  She doesn't seem to understand that.  Plus, Lycan's going through a growth spurt and needs his naps.  Otherwise he's fussy.  He maybe perfect with grams, but only because she spoils him.  
Yeah, the grandparents are an interesting bunch.  I think their memories are going.  Maybe they're a tad senile?  I'm sure this is something that many novice and veteran parents have to deal with: how the grandparents would do it....because they don't remember what it's like actually raising kids.  :-)

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure if our parents' generation forgets what it's like... Or if they were expected to do EVERYTHING, no matter what. Young kids back then were probably no excuse to not attend some family function. Either way, though, they ought to at least remember just how much damn work it is... Especially those parents who popped out one child after another - they really ought to be sympathetic to you, I think!

    Ought to be speaking at this age? Well, let's see... Rowan turned 1 right after your Lycan, and she says all the typical words like "mama", "dada", "kitty", etc. But kids aren't really "expected" to say recognizable words until they are about 15 months old. As long as he's hitting all the standard milestones, that's really what matters - meeting your gaze, smiling in response to you, clapping, playing peek-a-boo, etc.

    Gifted? Honestly, that's a hard road, actually. Most of those kids are extremely challenging. I'd rather have a kid who meets milestones, or exceeds them only slightly. My son does everything when he's ready. That's just how he is. He's a nice, average boy. Works for me! His sister is developing a bit faster than he did, but not enough that I'd consider her gifted. Girls tend to mature faster than boys. Again, I'm happy with that. She's doing what the average girl ought to do.

    Well, that's a whole lot of babbling for me to just say this: do what is right for you as a mom. Don't listen to anyone else. Comparison SUCKS. I hate it too. Even after 11 years of parenting my son, that kind of shit can suck the confidence right out of me. But I stick to my guns and I'm happy to do things my way. You keep doing that too. :)