Monday, January 13, 2014

Day Cares and Sitter Worries

I've got a job interview on Wednesday at Nationwide.  It'll be low impact physically....unfortunately, if I get the job, I'll be on my butt most of the day.  Zero exercise, despite that I'm obese, I hate those kinds of jobs.  I like to be active, but being preggers, it works for now.  With prospects of a possible job comes the important questions of who's gonna watch the kid?

Yes, tis that time already.  Day cares and Baby Sitters.

I'm not a fan of daycares.  Kids get sick often and my brother was abused when he was little, hence why I never attended one.  One of my friends works in one a little ways from here, and she gave me good pointers:

  • Do your research into the centers. There is a site you can go to to look up satisfaction ratings on the centers. 
  • Look on facebook many centers now have them. 
  • Tell them about your concerns. I have had parents do that to me and it helps me to understand why they may seem overbearing . 
  • Communication is key. 
  • Once an if you decide on a center. Be vocal. If you have concerns voice them. The more they know that you will not put up with anything the less likely you are to have major issues.
  • If you go with a daycare ask to come in and observe during the day. Bring him in to play an see how he interacts with the kids and also how the teacher interacts with the kids. 
  • Ask a lot of questions. 
  • Tell them all about his personality and see how they react to that. 
  • I hate to say this but test them. If they do not flinch they have experience and most likely know their stuff . Ask how long they have been at the center, in that class , and what the average turnover is for their teachers.
  • If you go with a daycare there is something called title xx . They would adjust the rate you pay based on your income.
There are a lot of questionable people in this world, and people who go into early childhood development who have no business being there.  From the lazy to the angry, and I don't want my child to run into that.  If I was fine with that, he'd be spending more time at my dad's.

However, it would be a good experience for Lycan concerning social interactions with other kids his age.  Lycan loves other kids.  He's so curious and playful.  He wants to learn, learn, learn, and interact, and play!  Like any parent, I'm nervous.  My baby's a good boy, overall.  I just keep thinking about the what ifs.  What if he's hit by other kids and they're not disciplined?  What if he picks it up and tries to do that to his younger siblings (well, obviously, I'll deal with it).  What if the "teachers" hit him?

Ha.  Ha.  Yeah, there will be hell to pay if my child comes home with red marks and bruises, or is traumatized in any way.  Our home is a happy home.  My son is so cheerful, I'd hate to have some fucking stranger harm him and take away that light.  I didn't grow up in a happy home, not until I was 11, when I moved in with my mom.  He will not experience that same environment, Gods help me.

We probably won't spank.  My husband wasn't spanked and I was beaten by my dad.  I don't want to run the risk of losing it and beating my child.  So, no spankings in this household.  And I really hate that argument of, if they don't leave bruises, it's okay.  Um, no, because my dad could beat the fucking shit out of us and not leave a mark.  So bullshit invalid point.  Spanking is fine when done for the right reasons and right temperament.  But there are lines when it's not okay.  There's a time and a place for it.  But there's not a place for it in my home.

Day cares aside, we went onto to find a baby sitter.  After doing the math, it was going to be $400 a week.  A fucking week.  I get people need to make a living themselves, but holy crap.  What's the point of me working, if my checks are going right into their pockets?  I might as well just stay home! is not for poor families.

My SIL suggested another site, that we've yet to check out, called sittercity.

My brain is racked with this sitter business and my stomach is up in knots with nerves concerning my interview and the what ifs.  I need this job, but I need to know that my son is going to be happy and healthy in someone else's care.  I really wish I knew someone who was reliable and able.  This really bites.  Shame this isn't a second shift job because then we wouldn't have to worry.

Even if I invited someone into my home, I still have the same worries, only intensified.  It's private, what if they beat or molest my child (remember, I didn't have a happy childhood, so these kinds of fears are on my mind, which I actually think is smart, you should be concerned; but unfortunately, they can make you paranoid and untrusting).  I also worry about thieves.  Will they steal from us?  Or will they see our Pagan and Witch symbols and think ill, maybe even report us as "devil worshipers" to child services?  Shit does happen and I think it's important to consider!  The world can be a fucked up place!

Hubby told me not to worry about it, "Lycan will be taken care of".  Just focus on getting this job.  Easy for him to say.  I just want to find someone we know, can trust, and who has experience with young children.  Is that too much to ask for?

Being abused as a kid can really fuck a parent up.  At least, I'm not in that statistic of repeating the cycle. I just can't sleep right now, because I can't stop worrying about this effin problem.  It was bound to happen.


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