So my first Mother's Day was spent at my mom's. Our power was out due to a faulty breaker and it was cold, so I took Lycan to my mom's. Husband was home, but we called each other. His Mother's Day plans were ruined, but it was due to circumstances.
Father's Day, I had originally planned on getting him a bust of Odin, the All-Father. Perfect, right? His Patron, an All-Father, on Father's Day. But that plan was blown out of the water by my emergency surgery. I only have one night off this week, and after working for 7 hours, taking care of Lycan for 9 hours after that, I was still excited to put my plan into action. So I bought him some donuts, I cleaned up the house, took care of the ferret, brushed my hair, shaved my legs, cooked an awesome dinner. Figured when he came home from taking care of his mom's dog, I'd surprise him with the dinner. Then we'd have sex and watch Hansel and Gretel.
Then this morning, on my night off, I was going to wake him up with breakfast.
Nope. I did the work and waited. I waited and waited and waited. Finally about 8:30 pm, I gave up and went to bed pissed off and hurt. It's nice to know that he'd rather spend his first Father's Day with his old dog and some estranged co-worker that he hasn't seen in years, than spend it with his wife.
All I want to do is cry.
Happy Fucking Father's Day, Asshole.
It's funny, all I hear from family members is how much of a great father and good man he is, but never anything about what a good woman, wife, or mother I am.
That I should count my blessings for having him.No one ever tells him to be thankful for me.
I wonder what that says about their opinions of me? Apparently, I'm not good enough for him. After yesterday, I certainly feel unappreciated.
I'm browsing Witchvox right now (my profile is Dyslexic Witch), just trying to find a local group or coven to join...meet some Pagans and Witches from the area. Share experiences and learn something new. But either the groups are old, with no new information, or they're only looking for teen/college aged participants. Which honestly, I'd emailed one of the groups, asking if they mean any one in college or a specific age group of 18-22, ya know? Be specific. Just about anyone of various ages can be in college these days.
Technically I'm taking a hiatus from college. Breakdowns, depression, and young children can do that to a career student!
It'd be great to find a group that allows families, but individual will also work, since the hubby's more of a Slacker Pagan anyway, nor he is a Witch, and I/we can teach our kids ourselves (although he's gotten more passionate when it comes to Lycan, so that's cool). But wouldn't be it great if he(they) could play with other Pagan kids? Learn and play together, like the Spiral Scouts.
At the same time, it'd be great to involve the hubby in something Pagan, too.
Problems I've encountered so far:
The overall tone of the group is either super light and love, like they're trying too hard, or I dunno....I just don't like the wording. Something doesn't feel right, ya know? Like I'm a spiritual person, but it's just so lovey dovey with their Blessed Be's and So Mote It Be's that...I dunno how else to explain it. It's just a feeling....like scam or something.
Or the groups are located far from the capital. I live in Ohio's capital, Columbus. I've been all over central Ohio, but some of these groups and covens are a couple hours away. I ain't got the gas money for that.
I guess my internet communities have grown stale--there's not a whole lot of action or interaction going on in the communities that I'm part of. Most of them have been taken over by prayer threads. It's quite boring....and I think I'm just at that point where I want to meet Pagans and Witches from my area.
Damn, I guess it's off to the local shops to see if there's anything going on with them? I know one shop, Blessed Be, offers classes and is host to weekly drumming circles. The problem is my work schedule coinciding with their classes and events.
I still have time to find and be established into a group/coven by the time Lycan's old enough to understand. I would just like him to grow up with more interactive resources (people) than I had growing up. I mean, shit, I didn't start using the internet for Pagan/Witch companionship until....like, 2004.
I dunno, maybe I'm just feeling lonesome right now? I also got to remember that there tends to be a lot of drama within Pagan circles. Drama and ego. But then what group/family doesn't have those two factors? I'm exhausted and ramblin.
Plum out of fun and educational ideas for your family? Even though it's quite addicting--and I've been using it to pass the time during recovery--Pinterest has some fun ideas.
I'm on there as MoonVeiled Dovahkiin. Here be my Wren's Nest board, full of activities that I find exciting and educational for a family of various ages. For the most part, I went for Pagan-esque themes, like nature, science, and magik.
Share if you're also a Pinteraddict, I'd like to see your likes and loves. That and I'm just bored. Bored with recovery, bored with being on a lifting restriction. Bored with other internet aspects. So might as well work on my Pagan Parenting binder, right?
Been a long near week! Wednesday, after I ate a chicken patty sandwich, I was having painful gas. Alka Seltzer, Gas X, Yoga, or back patting weren't doing anything. The pain just got worse and worse. It was in the middle of my chest, beneath my rib cage, and pierced through to my back. Sometimes it wrapped around my rib cage and went down into my belly. Pain was intense.
I went to work and was only there for 20 minutes, because the crippling, agonizing pain sent me home. The drive home was challenging! I got home, crying, tryinng to stretch it out. Trying to pound it out. Just trying to lay in some comforting position. Nothing.
I googled Female Heart Attack Symptoms, because ours is different than men (although I wouldn't recommend webmd like I went to, simply because that site will turn you into a hypochondiac. I got scared. Told my husband to take me to the ER.
Had X-Rays done, extensive questions, left in intense pain that literally left me begging, pleading, and crying for relief for an hour. Oh, and vomiting, let's not forget that. And I had an ultrasound.
Went into the ER around 10:30 Wednesday, left 5 am Thursday morning with a prescription for Zolfran and Percocet for....Gallbladder Attack, due to Gall Stones. Apparently, it's common for women to develop them during pregnancy. Also 1 in 3 people have gall stones. Within 3 people with gall stones, 1 has to have them removed. I was scheduled to my mine removed Thursday, June 6th.
Friday, I noticed that my urine was had a reddish dark tint to it. I thought I was just dehydrated. Drank tons of water. As the day progressed, I experienced more pain, pain that wasn't subsiding with the itchy pain killer. Finally, in the evening, I called my aunt, who's an RN and asked her about my urine. She told me to "get my butt to the ER". So I did.
It wasn't blood, but bilirubin (the stuff that gives poop its color). And apparently I had jaundice. I was a reject Oombaloomba! One of the stones had fallen into one of the ducts, blocking the bilirubin, giving me jaundice. Admitted into the hospital I was!
Had surgery to remove the stones on Saturday, via my throat. The Surgerical Nurse said it was like a gravel pit! Dude was cool, I liked him.
Had the major surgery on Sunday to remove my gallbladder, just four tiny incisions. (Which happens a lot! While I was there, at least 6 people had theirs removed, too!)
Wasn't discharged from the hospital until yesterday (Monday).
The last time I spent more than two days in the hospital, I lost something, was in pain, and was bleeding from the crotch (as I had started my period yesterday morning, due to stress).
It's weird to think that I don't have an organ, but at least I'm not yellow or in too much pain. I'm walking around, have zero energy, can't lift more than 10 lbs (which included my son :-( ), and can't eat greasy, fatty, or spicy foods (at least for a while). My throat hurts, too. Coughing and burping suck ass. It's amazing how much you use your abs! At least I'm healthy.
The hardest part of this is not being about to carry or hold my son. Especially when he reaches for me, brings a tear to my eye. Last night, we stayed with my mom. Tomorrow and Thursday, my step mom's going to help out. As for Friday and this weekend? Or next week? I dunno. Lycan's not exactly a lay-around kind of kid. He's demanding and active. Can't just put him down in a play pen or on the floor. So I dunno, but maybe I'll be stronger (even though the surgeon said to not until he clears me)? Eh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
I'd type more about my adventures, but I'm pretty tired.
So that was my week-end. How was yours? Oh and granny's doin fine. Went from her deathbed to walking around my mom's house, cooking and cleaning. She's a stubborn old bat.