Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Bebe, Work, and Sex

Thank the Spirits for informative, educational Youtube videos, like Baby Einstein!  Child loves Baby Einstein almost as much as he appears to love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  He just sits there and laughs and laughs and laughs, giggles, moves.  Sits up when he hears the voice, stands and squats when he sees the babies in the videos do so.  It's wonderful. 

Lycan's 4 months and some change!  He's got a doctor's appointment on Friday, so we'll see his weight and height, although he's also getting his shots.  :-(  However, I may not be there for them, or for the aftermath, due to working third shift now. 

  • Focusing on objects, great and small
  • Has found his hands and feet, although the hand discovery wasn't as interesting as people have said it would be.  He was far more interested in his cool socks, though.  lol.
  • Grabbing and hanging on!
  • Actually showing interest in his toys.
  • Taking steps up mom and dad.
  • Teething like crazy, kid's got four bottom teeth coming in!  But still won't chew on the teething toys.  They're too big and hard!  We tried wet and frozen rags, but they were too cold.  He naws on his blankets and teething towels.  We're going to get him a Sofie, which is a giraffe of softer material.  My niece, Holli, loves hers.
  • Hates Apple flavored Rice Cereal.
  • Still hates his stroller.
  • Still hates his car seat.
  • We now only give him baby food once a day.  He's more regular that way.
  • Isn't quite sitting up on his own yet.
  • Has started sleeping in his own bed.
  • Can hold up his head with no problems.
  • Is getting used to belly time and can do his little push ups to look around now.
  • Almost crawled the other night!  He's trying to get mobile!
  • Starting sucking his thumb last night.  
  • Is wearing 9 month clothes.
  • Still a master back scooter :-)
  • Loves being outside.
  • His feet can touch the floor when he's in his "chair" as hubby calls it (his jumper). 

He's so interactive now and I love it!  Smiling, giggle, squealing, and focusing on stuff.  Trying to figure things out.  Trying to talk. 

Yes, I'm working now--whew, the first days were rough!  After having not worked for a year, to being pregnant, to giving birth, then going through Parent Bootcamp, I fried my quads!  They're better now.  It's easy work, as I'm a stocker.  Super easy and tedious.  Not trusting daycares or being able to afford a sitter, I had to find a shift that works for us.  Hubby works first shift and I work third, at the same place. 

At first, it was difficult leaving the baby, but luckily, I'm kept busy at work.  And it's a nice break, minus the exhaustion of caring for Lycan when daddy's working.  I work when Lycan's sleeps, then come home to his waking hours, having to wait 8 hours until daddy's can relieve me. 

Gotta do what you gotta do for the family. 

The night before my first shift was the same day that my brother prepared to leave for his third tour in the middle east.  Watching him saying goodbye to his nearly 3-year-old daughter was difficult, especially since I've never seen him get emotional before.  Which in turn made me emotional and not wanting to leave my son!  Been with the kid 24/7 for nearly 4 months straight!  But, at the same time, it was a push.  My brother's going to be further away for 9 months and if he can do it, I knew that I could spend 7 hours a night away from my kid. 

So far, so good. 

I mean, not only does mommy need a break once in a while, but so does baby. 


Sex wise, things are lookin up.  I've revisited my erotic writings and they've re-awoken my drive and released many inhibitions (which the hubby loves).  Still can't do my fave position, but cowgirl works too.  But it's funny, I wasn't much of a cuddler before, I'm still not, but now I really don't care for foreplay.  Slam, bam, thank you sir!  I don't wanna cuddle before, during, or after.  Which is funnier, because hubby's all about it now and I could just do without.  As he says, I'm "the fun toy that won't let anyone play with her".  Eh, maybe my writings will help remedy that, too, huh? 

All right, off to get some sushi!


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Used to Love Tampons Like I Used to Love Sex

I'm pretty sure the act of childbirth and the after result has traumatized me.  Vaginally traumatized me (which is weird, because I've been sexually abused, but then nothing is more abusive than pushing a human from your loins, is it?).  We haven't had sex because it's just uncomfortable.  Hubby says it's like I'm Virgin again, except even with my first time it didn't hurt nearly as often.  One and done, right?

Hell, I tried a tampon the other evening and it was so freaking uncomfortable!  Back to diapers for me.

Ugh, I just don't know what to do.  Bite the bullet and cringe through it?  Pfft, how healthy is that?  Not to mention, hubs isn't down with the ideal of hurting me.  But I don't know what else to do? 

I dunno, the doctor's cleared me.  I use lube and different positions and yet....nothing's working.  It's just uncomfortable and not fun anymore.  Maybe it's just a mindfuck?  Masturbation's even lost its luster.  Like, I can still get horny, but then it's just lacking.  The "climax" isn't even worth it.

Then again, I am on my period and my moodswings are a swinging, so maybe I'm not as depressed as I really feel.

Maybe it's still too soon for sex?

Any suggestions?

In other news, we got Lycan's 3 month baby pictures today and they look fantabulous!


Monday, April 1, 2013

Books and Foods

Ordered some books from Amazon last night, my goal was to get some children's books for our steadily growing kid library, but man, some of those prices were ridiculous. For children's books.  On Amazon.  Normally Amazon is cheap!  Not anymore!  Shit, I got the feeling that I'd get them cheaper on Barnes N Noble!  Not to mention that S&H really fucks you over too.  $4 even for something small.  What a rip.

A few years ago, it didn't used to be like that.  Shitty economy = jacking up the prices?  How much sense does that make?  But good economy = reasonable prices? 

I am thoroughly annoyed.  Only got one book for my little man: The True Story of the Three Little Pigs.  I was going to get some board books.  Nope.  Too damn expensive.  Re-fucking-diculous.  Well, at least Lycan's godmom is an English Teacher, and she's big on books, just as I am.  I can always count on a book gift from her.  And my step mom is a member of Usborne Books.

I should've just went to Half Priced Books like I originally planned.

I know right now it doesn't really matter, but we do read to him.  Eventually, when he's old enough, we're going to encourage him to buy books over toys.  Hopefully instill that love of reading.


In other news, had a family get together on Saturday.  Took his pictures at the studio - he hated it, but the photographer was great and we still got some cute shots of him.  Grandma, my grandma, got a generational picture done at mom's.  And she started to say, "We gotta change his name..."  And I thought she was going to be a snarky bitch about it, until she finished with, "...to Jerry, because he looks just like him."  Good job, Grandma.  You were actually nice to me.  Sort of.  

Speaking of Jerry, my Uncle's a changed man.  Course almost going to prison for attempted murder will do that to a person.  He's more humble and family oriented.  He actually spent a lot of time interacting with my son, too.  It was cool.  


My mom started Lycan on rice cereal and baby food this weekend.  Too early you'd say?  Especially for the doctors and WIC who say to wait until 6 months? Whereas Gerber says 4, or until they're able to sit up on their own...  Both my brother and step brother started their daughters on cereal at 3 months.  Like my brother's daughter, Lycan's growing fast!  He's been so hungry lately.  Give him a bottle, until he's satisfied, and he gets a belly ache and throws most of it up, but then wants more.  Eats too much, blah, wants more, blah.  He cried all the time because he wasn't getting full, averaging 7-9 bottles a day.  It got so bad that my mom was wondering if he had colic or is lactose intolerant.  I'm slightly lactose intolerant and that was one of my problems when I was a baby. 

So...we've started him on 1st baby foods, like green beans (him loves, like his mommy), squash, carrots, and sweet potatoes.  He's a happier kid for it, too.  Stay fuller longer.  Doesn't cry nearly as much.  He didn't have any trouble eating it either.  For the last couple weeks, he's been chewing on the nipple, even after graduating to 3-6 month nipples.  We used the spoon, he chewed (as much as a toothless baby can with pureed mush) and swallowed without a problem. 

We give him cereal in the morning, then a veggie at night, with bottles in between.  So far (four days in), he's doing well, both in temperament, digestion, bowel movements, and sleeping. 

Sometimes I don't think doctors take in their size or genetics.  He's 3 months old and is as big--though heavier--than his 8-month-old cousin.  He's not a fat baby, Lycan's very proportionate.  He's just thick.  He's a powerhouse like his dad.  We tried to explain this to his doctors, we give him such large bottles because he's always hungry, and the only thing they tell us is that we should only be giving him 2-4 oz.  Sometimes I wonder how many of these people have kids?  This "By the Book" stuff doesn't always work. 

Like I said, so far, so good.


He squealed for the first time today.  It was cute, and surprisingly at me.  Normally I have to work for a smile.  :-)  We're working with his hands more, so he's starting to get the hang of using them--the left more than the right.