Monday, January 21, 2013


Still around, surviving the baby thrill ride....barely.  Be back with more posts once we get the internet. 


Monday, January 7, 2013

Learnings and Wee Milestones

First off, congrats to Wendy for having her baby!

And second, as I sit here, awkwardly, eating my bowl of frosted mini wheats, I can't help but think what this pregnancy and afterbirth has taught me about taking certain things for granted:

  • Sex
  • Certain foods: Sushi, Pasta, Fresh Baked Breads, Pancakes, Onions (normally I like onions, but during preggo life, I hated them!), Fruits (high in carbs), etc.  Pretty much, being able to eat whatever the fuck I want!
  • Not eating on a set schedule -  Can't imagine trying to do that now with a newborn, mad props to diabetic mothers who're able to!  Heck, I can barely remember to eat, drink, and sleep while caring for him. 
  • Not having to test my blood - so far, I haven't been on glyburide nor have I been testing since the 28th, and I had tested my blood a bit ago due to having a headache.  I didn't know if it was a normal headache or something brought on by high BS.  However, I don't think that I have diabetes [knock on wood] as my BS was normal.  ::happy butt dance::  But we'll know for sure when I go back for my 6 week check up and Blood Sugar test).
  • Comfort
  • Sleep
  • Crouching Down
  • Non-Swollen Feet
  • Pooping and Farting without the severe rectal pain that often accompanies those once enjoyable actions....
  • Just wiping when peeing, without going the extra steps of keeping it clean and sterile down there.  (vaginal and rectal stitches suck!)
  • Sleeping on my back - I'm a side sleeper, but I've learned that sometimes it gets old, especially when I want to have kangaroo time with my kid, but uterus cramps that can come on with the back position prevent it.  I can't help but be a little jealous of hubby's kangaroo time with Lycan, but I bond with him in other ways.
  • Not having to take stool softeners, along with high fiber foods - I've never had the best digestive system, and have always needed the aid of high fiber foods to help things along, keep em regular, but now I need even more, along with some colace aid.  
  • Erect nipples - Now they play hide and go seek.
  • Non-Leaky Boobs - Remember those times when I kept wondering when that was going to happen?  Yeah, well now it's old.  lol.
  • Shaving my legs.

There are other things, but I can't really remember right now.  However I won't miss not having the migraines or the periods when I was preggo.  However, I hope I do go back to having regular periods like before. 

You know what else?  He's worth all of the pains and discomfort that I went/am going through during pregnancy, labor, and this afterbirth healing process. Absolutely worth it.  Even when I'm doubled over in pain, crying; or sleep deprived and stressed out.  I see it all as being initiation into parenthood - something most of us go through, be us new parents or vets.  That's a very comforting thought, knowing that we're not alone.

When I see him, our gift from the Spirits and blessing from the Moon, I forget all of the pain and fatigue, and just smile.  Gently caress his cheek, engulfed by the love and compassion that I feel for him.  He's worth it all.

And, yes, I'd go through them again.  For him.  For his future siblings.  :-)

Also, if you're on Circle of Moms, you can probably find me on there.  Maybe, I dunno how those things work on that site, I'm a noob, but my name is WolfMoon Momma.  I doubt that I'll be blogging there because I have this blog and I heart this blog, but I may cruise the forums looking for answers and ideas, connecting with other mommas. 

Well, baby's fussing and it's my shift, time to see what the little Wolfman wants.

Oh, and milestones: His circumcision has healed and his umbilical cord is about to fall off.  Yay, soon to be no more diaper complications! Oh, yeah, and his first smile occurred week 1, after he farted.  :-)  Takes after his momma.  Yes, I am a lady.  lol.


Saturday, January 5, 2013

Week 1 Done, Continuing Onto Week 2

Whoo!  Yay for surviving week 1!  The three of us.  Monday was my first day, just the two of us.  But this week will be my first week alone with him.  Nerves!  Last week I had daily help from the mom's, today I had no help, even though I was supposed to and could've really used it.  He was in one of those moods of crying unless he was being held.  That went for laying him down after he was asleep.  Like a cat, Lycan woke up immediately.  Made mommy taking a nap very difficult.  Made mommy doing anything that wasn't holding him very difficult.  I was exhausted, but snapped out of it after I realized my step mom stood me up by the afternoon.

Ugh, still am healing, still weak from the blood loss (though am getting stronger and am not nearly as pale), didn't have swollen feet before he was born, but definitely do now.  That's been a battle of trying to get the swelling down, but no such luck.

Then today I suffered the worse constipation pains to date.  Which didn't help that I didn't eat or drink anything until around noon, AND apparently taking iron makes it worse.  After drinking more than my weight in water, taking my stool softeners, eating a can of peas (didn't have spinach), two bowls of chili, AND a Sitz bath, I finally had a bowel movement.  Still am having some pains, but they're no where as severe as earlier.   Ugh.  At least my stitches and cramping uterus don't ache as badly.  In fact, my bleeding isn't so bad anymore.  I figure I have about another week of vaginal healing, but who knows how long of adult diaper use (aka pads)?  Every once in a while, the cramping makes me flinch, like now, but it's all part of the recovery. 

Mommy and daddy are surviving, even through the stress and tears (on my part, luckily hubby's my rock!  My calm, experienced rock).  I take the morning shift while daddy's at work - 6 am to 3 pm.  He takes the evening shift -  3 pm - 10/11 pm.  Then we alternate at night.  Though when my baby boy's crying, mommy has a hard time staying asleep, and it's not for the reasons that most people would think.  Not the crying, but because I want to see what's wrong and what I can do to console him.  Maternal instincts.

The last couple of days has been a war on his diapers.  First couple of days, no problems!  But now, none of the brands we have are working against his urine.  Boy keeps pissing through his diapers and soaking his clothes!  Plus whomever happens to be holding him.  I figured that one of the problems was the petroleum jelly we were using for his circumcised penis, learned last night that petroleum jelly is water proof.  Okay, just lessened the amount we put on the diaper, right?  Wrong, still leaking.  Even the supposed "leak lock" diapers are no help.  I'm thinking that even though he's a newborn using newborn diapers that maybe it's due to his size?  Like the diapers are lose fitting in some areas, and with his healing penis and umbilical cord, we're going to be having leakage problems for a while.  Wouldn't be so bad if we had a washer and dryer....but we don't.  :-(

Breast milk wise, due to having flattened/inverted nipples (a problem that I didn't have before pregnancy), him latching on is damn near impossible, DESPITE that he's trying and that I'm expressing.  So I've been pumping instead.  Pumping and freezing my milk, getting a nice stock pile going to keep up with demand.  Luckily the more ya pump, the easier it is to produce milk.  The more often ya leak, the more times of day ya have to pump.  Can be a vicious cycle, especially when you're exhausted and all ya want to do is sleep, but your boobs have other plans.  Yet at the same time, an hour of pumping yields about 3-6 ounces combined, which makes me a happy momma!

I've been eating right, or trying to.  Still don't have my appetite back yet, so I'm only eating 1-2 meals a day, though today I ate 3.  I'm just not hungry, ya know?  That and having my sleeping schedule out of whack isn't helping either.  But I've been making sure to drink at least 3 glasses of milk/3 serving of calcium a day, as well as drinking plenty of water. Hubby is harking on me to eat and drink.  It's annoying, but he's only doing so because he cares about us and breast milk is healthier for Lycan and it's free.  Still annoying. 

And hubby bought me what I call the prosthetic nipple, the contact nipple shield.  It's to aid in the baby latching onto inverted/flat nipples.  Which I will once I make an appointment with the Lactation Specialist.  Pumping is great and all, but I'd rather just feed him at the teat.  No need for gravity or special positions to keep milk flowing into the bottle.

Ugh, I so do look forward to hubby's days off.  Not just for the team work, but because I miss him more and more, and really like it when we're all home together.  

It feels so much later than 9 pm.... but seeing that sweet face of mommy's little Wolfman reminds me that's it's all been worth it.  Doing it all for him, and the rewards are greater than anything I ever could've hoped for.  All of those facial expressions, his darling smile, him trying to figure out the world and how to use his spasming limbs, those ever changing, ever developing grey-blue eyes staring back at us, reacting to our voices.

You know that You Are my Sunshine song?  Yeah, I changed the lyrics to "Moonlight" instead, because he is a gift from the Spirits and from Sister Moon!

Goal for week 2:  Get this burping thing down!

PS we're sending our dog to live with hubby's mom tomorrow.  More on that news story later.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013


It's safe to say that I know how a cow feels...probably.  My SIL  came through for me last night, by letting me borrow her pump--all nice and sterile and clean.  I tried getting him to latch but there's just nothing there.   I was feeling pretty down.  The milk was there, but I had no equipment, natural and man-made, to get it out.  Not even self expressing helped!  I cried, I was so upset about it, and in some pain.  But hubby came to the rescue like always. 

I've never had those nipple problems before, I was kinda stunned in the hospital when we couldn't get either of the ladies to stand tall.  But the important thing is that I have relief!  I was able to pump out a combined 5 ounces of pure fucking liquid gold last night and it was great!

I just started him on breast milk a little bit ago and I'm so glad I did.  Noticed a major change in him and difference between formula and milk.  Not to mention formula stains and milk doesn't.  At least not like the latter.

Well, my little wolfman has a check up later, so Imma gonna finish pumping the ladies for some more of that sweet, precious gold. 


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Booby Problems....


When I'm finally able to produce breast milk from my painfully engorged boobs, my pump breaks.  ::sigh::  Well, at least he's finally starting to root, maybe today I can get him to actually latch on?