Monday, December 23, 2013

Strange Dreams

This one seemed so realistic that I was convinced that at one time I actually had two deceased male cousins!  In the beginning of the dream these brothers had different names and were already deceased.  But then I did a flash back of sorts and saw their lives just before they died.

They were Tucker and Philippe.  Both handsome hikers.  One was a bow hunter, with a badass hand-crafted bow that someone I knew wanted to examine.  After his death, some family and I went exploring the woods, looking for it.  It was a long and dangerous trek, involving things from past dreams.

My son woke up me coughing, and I seriously had to lay there trying to pick through truth from dreamscape.  I really don't have two deceased male cousins, but man, did it sure feel like it!


Last week, I had another doozy of a dream.  In it, my husband said that he'd was in love with one of his male friends, some successful dude named Alex.  I was crushed, but wanted him to be happy.  We divorced and got joint custody.  Everything in his life worked out.  He went back to school, got his degree, started paying off his debts, moved into a dream house.  Everything.  Essentially, all of my dreams.

Meanwhile, I had to file for bankruptcy, live in a tiny one room apartment, working 2 minimum wage jobs, struggled from paycheck to paycheck, ended up losing custody of the kids, and was single.  I was literally stuck, I couldn't go back to school, I was just trying to survive and pay off my student loans, as well as bills.  I ended up losing lots of weight due to being depressed and stressed.  I was happy for my ex, but resented his happiness at the same time.

Yet despite my sad existence in this particular dreamscape, I woke up serene.  Normally, those times of dreams have different effects, yes?  But I was still happy for my ex husband.  I've been wanting to tell him about it, but the last time I told him about one of those dreams (in such a, he left me for someone else, his dreams came true, and he used my depression in order to gain custody of the kids, leaving me broken and in a hospital after a failed suicide attempt), I started balling and just walked away.


On Yule I had, yet, another vivid, detailed dream.  I was at my dad's after a snow storm.  Out in the yard, were two nesting families of Blue Jays, both with very young and hungry chicks.  I was worried about them because of my dad's beagle.  I wanted to help them, to coax them into moving to safer ground, but I was also fearful because Blue Jays are protective birds.

I don't remember what had happened, but one of the nest's didn't make it, but the other blossomed, and I got the feeling that they were going to be fine, no matter what happened...and I woke up before I could see what had happened.  Once again, due to my son.  No conclusion for mama.  I remember the Jays being large and brightly blue!  The blue of the feathers was very significant.

I've had contact with Blue Jays before, in dream and as Messengers.  I really think that it might be in response to my worry and all of these dreams of abandonment, family, and drowning I've been having lately.  Course, it could also just be hormones.

Animal Totems:

"Blue Jay is highly adaptive and will teach knowledge of survival in this world and in others. He will guide in the proper use of power to utilize abilities to their fullest potential. Blue Jay will aid in this discovery and developing personal power, awareness and higher knowledge. Blue Jay helps balance the earthy realm with Spiritual, teaches courage and tenacity along with ingenuity and resourcefulness. "

According to Divine Lotus Healing, the Blue Jay feather symbolizes:

"If fear presents itself, attack it head on with courage."

Another page, witchery, suggests that the feather could mean:

"Blue Jay feathers are valued as bringer of light and joy and are said to have the ability to brighten up even the darkest places."

As for the vibrant color, Blue represents many things, including healing, messengers, communication, trust, peace, and commitment.

I'll guess we'll see.  I did feel a significance from the flock....


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