Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Used to Love Tampons Like I Used to Love Sex

I'm pretty sure the act of childbirth and the after result has traumatized me.  Vaginally traumatized me (which is weird, because I've been sexually abused, but then nothing is more abusive than pushing a human from your loins, is it?).  We haven't had sex because it's just uncomfortable.  Hubby says it's like I'm Virgin again, except even with my first time it didn't hurt nearly as often.  One and done, right?

Hell, I tried a tampon the other evening and it was so freaking uncomfortable!  Back to diapers for me.

Ugh, I just don't know what to do.  Bite the bullet and cringe through it?  Pfft, how healthy is that?  Not to mention, hubs isn't down with the ideal of hurting me.  But I don't know what else to do? 

I dunno, the doctor's cleared me.  I use lube and different positions and yet....nothing's working.  It's just uncomfortable and not fun anymore.  Maybe it's just a mindfuck?  Masturbation's even lost its luster.  Like, I can still get horny, but then it's just lacking.  The "climax" isn't even worth it.

Then again, I am on my period and my moodswings are a swinging, so maybe I'm not as depressed as I really feel.

Maybe it's still too soon for sex?

Any suggestions?

In other news, we got Lycan's 3 month baby pictures today and they look fantabulous!



  1. Don't be too hard on yourself. After all, you're recovering from 9 months of very different hormones. The 6-week thing is just a milestone of sorts for our recovery. It actually takes a full year to recover from pregnancy, for hormone levels to get back to normal, etc.

    So take your time, be gentle with yourself, and it will all come around again. Honestly, I didn't want sex for about a year after I had my son. I didn't say "no" (to my now ex-husband), but I wasn't really into it for that first year. Many women feel like that, so I hope you won't let it bother you. It's totally normal.

    1. Makes sense, I'm still having bouts of hormonal....issues. From simple things like acne to serious things like emotional outbursts. Yeah, I'm putting more pressure on myself than my husband...typical. I'm so impatient! Guess this is my body's way of forcing me to chill out and let things take their course. Maybe explore other forms of intimacy, like foreplay. I dunno, I'm not really into foreplay or cuddling, so maybe there's a lesson here? Or maybe I'm just rambling? ;-)