Thursday, February 7, 2013


Due to Urinary Incontinence, gone are my days of going commando.  :*-(  I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones to not have those unexpected leaks, but...  Although it's still early...ish in the healing process.  There's hope for my snissing yet, but I'm not going to hold my breath. 

Got my 6 week check up on Tuesday, hopefully healing's gone as planned.  I was worried there for a little bit.  Normally me and stitches don't get along, as in it's like my skin rejects it a little and one of the ends of the wound kind of widens and bubbles...I don't know how to explain it, but no matter how neat and pretty they stitch it up, it never heals pretty. 

So I bit the bullet a few days or weeks ago, I dunno, I've lost all sense of time him.  He's got his days and nights mixed up and I just don't know anymore!  (We've been working--well, I've been working with him concerning that).  Anyway, yeah, I felt down there and it does not feel the same anymore.  I mean, the vag has always kind of reminded me of a strange alien, like the Yautja (Predator) mouth, but now it's really alien down there  Like a strange planet--the red surface of Mars comes to mind for some reason.  Nothing feels right.  Last week there was a bump!  Some more of that weird ass healing I do, apparently.  I guess it was just swelling because it's gone down a lot, but it's still there.  I dunno, I was reading that sometimes folds of skin can grow...WTF? 

The vagina's just stranger now.  How come they don't teach about the vagina in more depth to girls in sex ed?  They should.  I know more about a penis than about my own vagina.  Something's not right about that.  A lot that I know comes from just experience, what my mom's taught me, and this crazy ride called pregnancy and afterbirth. 

Then, going to the bathroom used to be an enjoyable experience.  But now, not so much these last couple of days, when ever I go and sit, I just feel this enormous pressure and discomfort down there.  Sucks.  Luckily I talked to my SIL about it--she had a C-section, but still had the same discomfort during her healing process.  Made me feel a lot better.  Then reading What to Expect: The First Year or whatever it's called, also made me feel better.  But like I said, I'll know more come Tuesday, if everything's good.  I experienced a tiny bit of bleeding today, but according to what I've read, that's normal. 

BTW, my SIL is expecting child number three in August.  She already has twins--Judah and Morgan--so we're all hoping she doesn't have another set of twins or more.  They're in the family and she already has a set, she's at a higher risk of having another set of multiples.  But we're excited. 

Milk wise, I'm all dried up.  That's depressing, but it is what it is.  My first week and a half was exciting, but after that, I was producing less and less each pump.  No matter what I did, what techniques I tried, what diet I ate, nothing worked.  I just felt worse because I was being pressured by my mom and husband to pump!  It's like they didn't get it, I knew how important breast milk is, I was excited about it!  I wanted to feed him milk from me!  He was happier, had better digestion, and I know his immune system was better because of it.  Also they didn't get how disheartening that was for me.  No matter what I did, nothing was coming out.  To them, I just seemed lazy and selfish.  Perhaps that's just what believed that they felt because of the pressure?

It took 37 painful weeks for them to grow, and less than a week to shrink back to their normal size.  But it's not that size that matters, and I knew that, but it only reminded me that I wasn't able to nourish him in a more natural way.  Needless to say, I haven't been happy about it, but at least mom and hubby have stopped harassing me about it.  I'm more focused on just keeping him happy and well fed.  He doesn't care what I feed him as long as I do.  Besides I'm more worried about his constipation issues right now. 

We've learned that Walmart Brand Parent's Choice Formula (Generic brand of Enfamil) does not work for him.  Stuffs him up, doesn't keep him full, and he throws up every time.  Not even Meijer Brand Formula works and that's the generic brand of Simulac (or however it's spelled).  Now he's on Spit-Up Simulac and it works okay.  He's still having constipation issues (we've tried the Sensitive formula), but he's staying fuller and isn't throwing up every feeding.  Still has his moments, but not every time. 

Had his 1 month check up on the first and the doctor told us to give him an ounce of apple juice (1/2 apple juice, 1/2 water).  That worked....but not for long.  I guess the next step is pear juice, if that doesn't work, then there's prune.  But I think we just need to keep him on one brand for a while and hopefully he gets used to it.  I know that some babies just don't poop everyday.  Heck, one of my nephews only pooped once every 4 days.  But Lycan's poops are not normal in terms of color and consistency.  Poor baby's constipated.  So we're staying with our brand/type, giving him apple juice once in a while, and have started some infant exercises (bicycling his legs and letting him have tummy time). 

Up, time for a feeding. 

And of course I type about his constipation and he blows up his diaper.  ;-)  Parent's Choice Formula may suck for him, but their diapers are awesome.  At least for now, they're better than Pampers and Huggies. 


1 comment:

  1. Since pumps aren't as efficient as a baby, there was nothing you could do. And you certainly were not lazy or selfish! The pump just cannot do the job the way a baby can. It sounds like your family doesn't realize that, but you did your best. :)

    What matters is he is being fed.

    And glad he finally crap-sploded!