Saturday, January 5, 2013

Week 1 Done, Continuing Onto Week 2

Whoo!  Yay for surviving week 1!  The three of us.  Monday was my first day, just the two of us.  But this week will be my first week alone with him.  Nerves!  Last week I had daily help from the mom's, today I had no help, even though I was supposed to and could've really used it.  He was in one of those moods of crying unless he was being held.  That went for laying him down after he was asleep.  Like a cat, Lycan woke up immediately.  Made mommy taking a nap very difficult.  Made mommy doing anything that wasn't holding him very difficult.  I was exhausted, but snapped out of it after I realized my step mom stood me up by the afternoon.

Ugh, still am healing, still weak from the blood loss (though am getting stronger and am not nearly as pale), didn't have swollen feet before he was born, but definitely do now.  That's been a battle of trying to get the swelling down, but no such luck.

Then today I suffered the worse constipation pains to date.  Which didn't help that I didn't eat or drink anything until around noon, AND apparently taking iron makes it worse.  After drinking more than my weight in water, taking my stool softeners, eating a can of peas (didn't have spinach), two bowls of chili, AND a Sitz bath, I finally had a bowel movement.  Still am having some pains, but they're no where as severe as earlier.   Ugh.  At least my stitches and cramping uterus don't ache as badly.  In fact, my bleeding isn't so bad anymore.  I figure I have about another week of vaginal healing, but who knows how long of adult diaper use (aka pads)?  Every once in a while, the cramping makes me flinch, like now, but it's all part of the recovery. 

Mommy and daddy are surviving, even through the stress and tears (on my part, luckily hubby's my rock!  My calm, experienced rock).  I take the morning shift while daddy's at work - 6 am to 3 pm.  He takes the evening shift -  3 pm - 10/11 pm.  Then we alternate at night.  Though when my baby boy's crying, mommy has a hard time staying asleep, and it's not for the reasons that most people would think.  Not the crying, but because I want to see what's wrong and what I can do to console him.  Maternal instincts.

The last couple of days has been a war on his diapers.  First couple of days, no problems!  But now, none of the brands we have are working against his urine.  Boy keeps pissing through his diapers and soaking his clothes!  Plus whomever happens to be holding him.  I figured that one of the problems was the petroleum jelly we were using for his circumcised penis, learned last night that petroleum jelly is water proof.  Okay, just lessened the amount we put on the diaper, right?  Wrong, still leaking.  Even the supposed "leak lock" diapers are no help.  I'm thinking that even though he's a newborn using newborn diapers that maybe it's due to his size?  Like the diapers are lose fitting in some areas, and with his healing penis and umbilical cord, we're going to be having leakage problems for a while.  Wouldn't be so bad if we had a washer and dryer....but we don't.  :-(

Breast milk wise, due to having flattened/inverted nipples (a problem that I didn't have before pregnancy), him latching on is damn near impossible, DESPITE that he's trying and that I'm expressing.  So I've been pumping instead.  Pumping and freezing my milk, getting a nice stock pile going to keep up with demand.  Luckily the more ya pump, the easier it is to produce milk.  The more often ya leak, the more times of day ya have to pump.  Can be a vicious cycle, especially when you're exhausted and all ya want to do is sleep, but your boobs have other plans.  Yet at the same time, an hour of pumping yields about 3-6 ounces combined, which makes me a happy momma!

I've been eating right, or trying to.  Still don't have my appetite back yet, so I'm only eating 1-2 meals a day, though today I ate 3.  I'm just not hungry, ya know?  That and having my sleeping schedule out of whack isn't helping either.  But I've been making sure to drink at least 3 glasses of milk/3 serving of calcium a day, as well as drinking plenty of water. Hubby is harking on me to eat and drink.  It's annoying, but he's only doing so because he cares about us and breast milk is healthier for Lycan and it's free.  Still annoying. 

And hubby bought me what I call the prosthetic nipple, the contact nipple shield.  It's to aid in the baby latching onto inverted/flat nipples.  Which I will once I make an appointment with the Lactation Specialist.  Pumping is great and all, but I'd rather just feed him at the teat.  No need for gravity or special positions to keep milk flowing into the bottle.

Ugh, I so do look forward to hubby's days off.  Not just for the team work, but because I miss him more and more, and really like it when we're all home together.  

It feels so much later than 9 pm.... but seeing that sweet face of mommy's little Wolfman reminds me that's it's all been worth it.  Doing it all for him, and the rewards are greater than anything I ever could've hoped for.  All of those facial expressions, his darling smile, him trying to figure out the world and how to use his spasming limbs, those ever changing, ever developing grey-blue eyes staring back at us, reacting to our voices.

You know that You Are my Sunshine song?  Yeah, I changed the lyrics to "Moonlight" instead, because he is a gift from the Spirits and from Sister Moon!

Goal for week 2:  Get this burping thing down!

PS we're sending our dog to live with hubby's mom tomorrow.  More on that news story later.



  1. The recovery is shocking, isn't it? And even though the books say you'll feel normal by 6 weeks postpartum, that's honestly not true. You'll feel however you feel.

    Yes, that first week is tough! The second isn't so bad. The third is probably the worst, because that's when they hit their first growth spurt. I promise you, it does get better. You made it through the first week, so congratulations!

    Burping is tricky, isn't it? My husband is horrified at how I burp our baby - I prefer sitting her up, holding her jaw with a burp cloth draped over my hand, and doing it that way. Not the over-the-shoulder way. Sitting up tends to force the gas out more effectively, but not every mom is comfortable trying that.

    You're doing just fine. It's a huge learning curve!

    1. Yeah, that's what my mom was telling me - about healing. I called her and told her about my severe pain and she admitted, "Oh, yeah, I remember the healing alright."

      "Aha! So you're pregnancy wasn't all sugar and gumdrops!"

      "Oh no, my pregnancies were fine. But the healing afterwards sucked. And lasted for months afterwards. Luckily I only had one really bad day of severe cramping."

      Damn it. lol

      As much as I'd love to do the shoulder way, it's tricky. Trickier than your way, which is also what I'm doing more and more. It's easier and tends to not take as long. Unless he's more interested in eating than burping....

      Yes, I've noticed that this week, by myself, is going by a lot easier than my first week with help. I'm learning more of his routine, how to get around his leaky diapers, and how to nap when he's napping. It's going a lot smoother, though that doesn't mean he won't throw in something new, but that's the way it goes. :-)