Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Yuck and Emotional Discharge

What's that dripping down my leg?  Fuckin nasty shit, man.  More of what ya--or at least I--didn't read.  Apparently I have fungal growth goin on downstairs.  EW!  I guess it affects 1 in 3 people; and can develop in preggo women, like it did me, hence the extra discharge and mucusy goodness.  There's no itching, just discharge.  It's not contagious.  It's easily treatable,  just gotta take Flagyl...or something like that...twice a day, for 7 days.  It "resets" the system down there and isn't harmful to the baby.  It's just fuckin nasty.  Like, ew. 

Pregnancy is gross, guys.  WTF. 

And as for my culture wipe last week, I get to take anti-biotics during labor for that whatever it's called.  Which apparently, can cause a skin infection for the baby. Another treatment that doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.  Just some anti-bodies and we're good to go.  Nothing to worry about. 

Just learning whole kinds of weird things!

Oh, and I guess with GD women, obviously they're checking my logs and weight every week (which I'm doing fantastic with), sometimes the babies can gain a lot of weight in the last few weeks of pregnancy, which can lead to complications like the head coming through okay, but the shoulder getting stuck on the pubic bone--I think is what it's called.  So, depending on how my ultrasound looks on the 3rd, they may induce me on the 10th (39 weeks).  Which, I'm hoping that he will either come on his own or have no significant weight gain.  One, I don't want to be induced, I want him to be ready when he's ready, and two, I want to go through the experience naturally (haven't fully decided on natural birth yet).  But overall I want him to be healthy and I want to do what's best for him. But his growth is normal overall, so hopefully I'll be able to experience it without the need of drugs. 

So nasty-ass-ness to the side, I had a pretty good, albeit emotional, holiday.  Mom picked me up on Sunday and I stayed until yesterday.  Sunday went fine, Monday I went off on my grandma, and Tuesday I went off on both my mom and my dad. 

My grandma and I don't get along and haven't since my handfasting, when I wouldn't let her control my plans and all that.  Not to mention, I stood up for myself.  She's a bully.  When she says "Jump" I'm the only one who doesn't, because I have a backbone.  But I'm polite to her, even though I don't respect her.  Although whenever she gets the chance, she's not only rude to me, but also tries to humiliate me in front of people. 

Shit Grandma said to me on Christmas Eve:

  1. "Kristy, get your lazy ass up and help me carry this in."  (me being 8 months preggo, sitting on the chair and her already having 5 people helping her.  My step brother's girlfriend looked me and and mouthed, Is she serious?  I just sat there, shaking my head.)
  2. "I don't know why everyone's treating Kristy special, she's not a parent."  (I literally busted out laughing when she said this.)
  3. And my favorite, my brother asked if I wanted to get a lesson in changing diapers.  I said, "No."  Grandma started to open her mouth with, "Well, what are you gonna do--"  I said loudly, "Just stop it.  All right.  I'm getting tired of this.  One of my symptoms is sensitivity to bad odors.  Hopefully it goes away once he's born.  If not, I'll deal, won't I?"  Well, that shut everyone up, especially her.  
  4. To my future SIL, "People used to treat Kristy like she was retarded because she was big for her age."  She's explaining herself her, but then it gets worse.  I didn't hear the full conversation, but then she said that because of my learning disability (dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia) that I was retarded and had to be the reason why I dropped out of college.  Why else would I spend 9 years going to college full time, just to drop out?  I had to be retarded.  It couldn't be due to any other reason than me being mentally challenged!
  5. "Lycan's a stupid a name."  I bit my tongue, but was thinking, Well, Hester's a stupid name!

Then at the end of the night, she left in a huff because my future SIL beat her ass in penny poker!  Took all of her money!  It was awesome. 

Yeah, me and granny haven't gotten along since October 31, 2010--actually we didn't get along before that.  The year of 2010 is when she turned into a hag towards because I wouldn't let her control me.  I wouldn't let her have her way.  I was grateful to her for my dress, the venue, and the after-party, and I thanked her, but she was just a bitch the entire time.  Even said, at the end of the night on Samhain, "Now all I need is a better granddaughter."  But like I said, she's cold and bitter towards me, and I kill her with kindness, refusing to let her bitter haggish ways bring me down to her level.  I just said, "Well, you still have Lacey."

So that was one sorta freak out, being number 3 above.  On Tuesday, apparently my mom wasn't emotional during either her pregnancies, but I'm very very emotional this trimester.  I was slightly short tempered and not a fucking robot, and I'll tell you why:

  1. I was exhausted; I haven't been sleeping very well the last couple of days.  So yeah, it's only natural to also be cranky, right?
  2. I'd been having Braxton Hicks for the past few days.
  3. I was sore; Lycan's been kicking the crap out of me.  Plus my stomach's still growing, because my son's still growing.
  4. My  husband thought he'd be funny and dump some glitter on me--I hate glitter.  Not too mention any annoyance is amplified 10000 fold. 

Every time I stood up, sat down, put my hands on my stomach, went to the bathroom, came out of the bathroom, exhaled, looked tired, had a pained expression on my face from a BH, or anything I was assaulted by, "Kristy, are you okay?"  "How you feeling?"  "Do you need something?"  It was fucking annoying.  Don't you think if there was problem, I would say something?  The only person who got it, was my brother.  "She's just pregnant." 


So on Christmas, it was no different, my mom actually took me off to the side and said that I was ruining everyone's good time.  I needed to suck it up and get happy.  It was a good day with friends and family.  I needed to stop being a downer and being selfish. 

"Mom, I'm pregnant.  I'm emotional.  I'm tired."

"Doesn't matter.  I wasn't emotional when I was pregnant, so you shouldn't be either.  It's Christmas."

I walked away and started crying.  Then my husband and my mom came up, crowding me, touching me, trying to make me feel better, and I just snapped, "DON'T TOUCH ME!  JUST LET ME WORK THROUGH THIS OKAY??????"  I stormed off to the kitchen, crying even harder.  I heard my step dad ask my husband, "Ha, are you ready for two of those?"  Implying that I was being a cry baby.

My brother stood up for me, "She's pregnant.  You just gotta let her go.  She's going to get emotional sometimes.  Just leave her alone."

I calmed down and came out, fine!  I just needed to be left alone. 

Later, at my dad's, he was getting on me about needing to get rid of our dog.  I snapped at him, then then apologized, and said, "Just a warning, I've been pretty emotional all day.  So no offense."  So that wasn't too bad.  After we ate, he was typical dad, "We made all this food and you guys barely made a dent."  Looking at me, "It's the holiday's, you've gotta splurge once in a while.  Eat more." 

"You know what?  This isn't about you or me; it's about my son.  His health is what's important, not appeasing you.  As much as I'd love to, I can't just take a break from GD and be selfish and pig out.  Got me?"

So that was the last snappage.  After that, if I wasn't zoned out, I was napping.  Though I had one BH wake me from a dead sleep, it struck my lower regions and spread to my back.  I stood up and it didn't go away, and only got a tad bit worse.  For a second I thought it was the real deal.  I walked, still in pain, experienced another cramp, but when I sat down in the car, they eventually went away and didn't occur again.  Doctor said it's only going to get worse.  Whew! 

Luckily, there were PLENTY more good and fun and festive things that happened over the last few days.  Lycan had a better Christmas than us!  Though mom literally got what she wanted, in terms of the crib bedding theme, which hurt my feelings.  She even said, "I know you wanted the turtle theme, but I liked this better and was thinking of your husband."  I know she meant well, but still.  She got a sports theme, I'm not into sports and I find it cliched.  I wanted turtles or sea life.  And she disregarded that.  That's partial the reason why I cried; I was that hurt.  But what can ya do?  Beggars can't be choosers. 

Other than that bit of drama, baby-wise Lycan cleaned up, and I did have fun with all of the sets of family, which is what I was looking forward to the most.  All right, time to sort through his gifts and enjoy this lovely blizzard with a cup of peppermint hot chocolate!  I start week 37 tomorrow!  Gonna be full term! :-D

Hope yall enjoyed time with family and friends.


1 comment:

  1. SO gross. But you're in the home stretch!

    Here's hoping Lycan's growth is totally normal. Yeah, I get what you are saying. You have a basic idea of what you want as far as labor, and hope to have that experience.

    How you kept your temper at all with your grandmother, I do not know. Aargh...

    I'm right there with you. Sleep? What is that? And constantly stopping to wince, grimace, or simply *breathe*. Yes, I can't stand be crowded either, or have people constantly asking, "Are you OK? Do you need help?"

    I've learned to say when I'm not OK and learned to ask when I need help. Honestly!

    Your brother sounds like a good guy and, yeah, the parents "mean well", but they need to back off.

    Ick to cliches. Ah well.

    Sometimes it's nice to just be home and have everything back to normal, eh?