Hell, I already get migraines once in a while (though not since I got pregnant) and I have a pinched nerve in my lower back, too.
I dunno. On one hand I don't handle pain very well--at all. Why put myself through the excruciating pain of natural birth if I don't have to? But on the other hand, the thought of a catheter being inserted into my spine freaks me the fuck out. Not. Going. To. Lie. Anything messing with my spine freaks me out.
You're sticking that where? No.
The arguments on many of these parenting sites are so....extreme. Extremely annoying, too. Ranging from horror stories of tech's making the husband's leave the room (which would NOT be happening in my case, I'm smarter than that) while they fuck up and blame the patient for moving to these Duola's (however they're spelled) and mom's saying that doing anything unnatural makes you a bad, selfish, and stupid mother to others who say don't feel guilty!
Some of these women, I feel, probably believe that those who're forced to bottle feed their kids are bad moms.
Like there's no in between here. No one's saying, "I had a bad experience, but I know other women who haven't."
My mom has her mind made up: Oh, she's having one. Thanks mom! Thanks for making that choice for me! Obviously, she's had them for both of us. They were a Godsend for her. And for the longest time, I was gung ho about it. But now that reality's setting it and I'm getting closer to that reality, the jitters are settling in and I'm finding myself a bit lost and scared.
Like I'm tempted to ask the Spirits or the Tarot about whether or not I should have the epidural. I mean, shit, I tested positive for GD, I don't want to fall into that 2% that also has long term complications, too! But then there are worse things I could've tested positive for, too.
I mean, I could tough it out until it becomes unbearable and ask for it, though by that time, it'll probably be too late. Or I could try it and the first time the tech fucks up, stop the procedure, grit my teeth and bare it.
I dunno, I've asked a question of my Facebook friends and family, asking about their experiences and if any of them have had complications. One friend has had 3 epidurals (and two spinal...something or others) and never had any complications. While another has had two, but wishes she had a natural birth because now she suffers chronic lower back pain. BUT she's my in between, saying that hers is just one bad experience and that she's known many more who've had great experiences with it. My ex-SIL also had no complications. But that's only three out of the many women on my friend's list.
Yet, in a weird way, my SIL has had two natural births (due to there not being any time for the drugs), and part of me is thinking, If she can do it, so I can. But for all I know, she's a closet masochist. But still in a weird way, she's indirectly encouraging me to go a more natural way.
That and I'm the type that doesn't like chemicals in my body--I like more natural approaches to healing and pain relief..... I dunno! I dunno. I dunno! I know that every pregnancy is different, but that doesn't mean that I want to run the risk of something going wrong, like getting a tech who's in a pissy or nervous mood or doesn't know what the fuck they're doing; or a problem not necessarily connected to human error.
What says you? Any advice? Stories? First hand experience? Please no lectures, I need positivity here.