Sometime in here, I told my BFF, so she'd know why I was moody, distance, and dry heaving all the time.
Due to having miscarried once, I was nervous. I didn't want to get attached to the embryo at such an early stage only to have something happen again, yet I was taking folic acid and starting to eat healthier. In week 9, I took a generic EPT test at home and it was positive, so I started taking Women's One-a-Day Prenatal Vitamins and keeping track of my symptoms. Normally I'm not a superstitious person--"But you're a Witch?"--but concerning this child, I didn't do or take anything that I had with the first pregnancy. We changed my prenatal vitamins, no generic antacids (actually I haven't taken any antacids yet), no prego yoga, and it helps that I'm not living in my dad's house, so no stress or breathing in cigarette smoke all the time! And I'm actually able to eat healthier, too! With the exception of my mom and BFF, we didn't tell anyone until after the first trimester, whereas the first time, we told very few people as soon as we learned (after our first doctor's appointment).
My husband and I went to the Women's Clinic and they confirmed it, as well as gave us references to hospitals and clinics that would work with us because we had no insurance. They also gave us sources to seek counseling for the miscarriage, a step that my first doctor didn't bother with. Although we didn't attend, as my mood was much lighter, we were grateful for their aid and care.
As the weeks progressed, I was getting more comfortable with being pregnant, and allowed myself to form a bond with the growing child. By week 14, I was out of the Danger Zone, for the most part, and really allowed myself to accept and fall in love with the fetus. With Little Wren.
Last week, in our 18th week, I was super nervous. I was scared that it was going to be like my first ultrasound, when there was nothing there.... And my mom didn't know know why I was so nervous, because I still haven't told her about the miscarriage. I'm going to wait until Little Wren is born before I tell her. Because I don't want her to focus on it, though I know she won't because she's getting another grandbaby, but I just don't want any sadness during this time.
Laying on that table, after being squirted with that hot gel (and it was hot!), fear crept over me when I didn't see anything at first. Then movement. When the tech was able to find the fetus, I cried tears of pure joy. Little Wren was wriggling and moving. Beating it's arms against the pressure from the wand. Little Wren was not digging it. It turned to face us and she took the picture. The tech tried and tried to get Little Wren to move around and stretch out, but the kid wasn't having it. She said, "This baby is stubborn!" In which I replied, "Awwww, just like it's mommy!"
My uterus had untilted. I have an anterior placenta, which I'm not worried about. Placenta's move around a lot and anterior means that the placenta is resting in the front, giving me "extra padding", instead of in the back. The only problem will be if it's a partial or previa placenta by the time I go into labor (I think that's what it's called), but it's when the placenta is covering the cervix. If that happens I'll have to have a c-section. Which honestly, I could go either way. Just as long as we're both healthy and happy.
As for Little Wren, it's thigh and abdomen measured a week ahead in size compared to its head. Which is funny because when the tech got us for the ultrasound, she took a look at us: Hubby who's 6'3 and me who's 6'2.5 and said, "This baby's going to be huge." Which isn't surprising because both my brother and I (we're the tallest in our families) and my husband (who's the second tallest in his family) were very long babies! My niece, brother's daughter, is only 2 years old and yet she's wearing 4-year-old clothes. Yeah, definitely got a giant batch of kids coming from us, lol!
When I saw that baby moving, I said, "I knew I felt a kick on Sunday." A kick, a odd thudding, a push from the inside out, that caused me to exclaim, "What the fuck was that?!" I knew it wasn't gas, I mean, I've got IBS and I know what bubble guts feel like, this was unlike anything I'd ever felt! It was awesome.
She gave me the print out and I said, "It's kind of creepy. Looks like a Predator Mask." Hubby said it looks like the Punisher skull. Though it kind of resembles those aliens from Independence Day too, sans the armor. lol
After the doctor's appointment on Wednesday, we told his brother on Friday (hubby'd already told his sister a month ago, when asking if there was anything "cure" for nausea. Which there's not, I could've told him that!). Then Saturday, had a cook out over at my mom's. She and my step dad already knew. But as my brother was talking about something, my mom said, "Hey Kris, don't you have a picture to show Brandon?" I shoved the frame in his face, lol. "Oh wow, is this what I think it is?"
My step dad said that the ultrasound looks like the Gladiator mask. It was a good laugh.
After mom's we went to his mom's, who was beyond elated. It was awesome. Dave had called her before hand, saying, that he had a problem that could put him in some hot water and that he needed to show her something to get her thoughts on it. He totally had her worried! He's such a butthead! But it was worth it, especially when she smacked him.
Over to my dad's we went, and preggo brain is preventing me from remembering how we broke the news to them. Dave handed them the frame. It was fun, too, until dad lit up a cigarette. But you know. Sunday, my step mom yelled at him about smoking around me. So it was nice that I didn't have to do it. Even though it didn't last long. But it's going to present it's own problems that I'll talk about later. It was Sunday, that we told some other of my dad's side....during my cousin's wedding, which I didn't want to do because it's their day, but. I was exhausted yesterday. I slept through some of the ceremony and more than half of the reception. But at least people knew why. lol
Then this morning, I posted the ultrasound on Facebook with a simple headline of "EDA: January 17, 2013." EDA meaning "Estimated Day of Arrival". On September 6th, we learn the gender of Little Wren, as well as get to see that everything, bones and organs, are developing correctly. I'm excited. my husband and mom want a boy and me and my step mom want a girl. Fingers crossed that this mommy gets what she wants! I'm over on TheBump.com, and I'm really hoping that the Chinese Gender Chart really is as accurate as the site claims. lol But I'll obviously love the child regardless!
So yeah, look forward to me journaling about my pregnant experience, including hopes, dreams, wishes, and fears. Up at the top is my Links page, where I provide websites, bloggers, and articles about Pagan Parenting.